Jewish World Review August 12, 2003 / 14 Menachem-Av, 5763
Argus Hamilton
And now for the
important news ....
http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com |
The White House announced Friday that discussions are
underway with Colombia for a free trade agreement with the United
States. It's a risky strategy. Cheaper crack could accidentally
stimulate the California economy and save Gray Davis's job.
Maria Shriver went on leave from NBC Dateline Friday. She is
bracing herself for tales about her husband's womanizing. With
each revelation, Hillary Clinton will be right there telling her
to breathe deeply and think about the book advance.
Arnold Schwarzenegger appeared on the Internet Friday in old
pictures of him with naked women. No one's sure who leaked them.
It could be Gray Davis trying to discredit Arnold or it could be
Arnold trying to take votes away from Larry Flynt.
Arnold Schwarzenegger began his campaign for California
governor Friday. The reaction wasn't all positive. North Vietnam
heard him on the radio promising victory and sounded air raid
sirens until they could be sure it wasn't Henry Kissinger.
Gray Davis demanded Tuesday that ethanol be removed from
California gasoline because it pollutes the air. Is he trying to
kill business? There's nothing like autumn in Los Angeles when
throngs of tourists come to watch the smog change colors.
Dennis Rodman was cleared by a California jury Friday of
drugging and raping a woman at home in Newport Beach. He's right
on schedule. It used to be that NBA players wanting to come back
had to pass a physical, now they need an acquittal.
Kobe Bryant was given a two month delay for his preliminary
hearing in Eagle County Wednesday. It's exactly what his defense
team wanted. After the hearing, Kobe Bryant's attorneys celebrated
by circling and then eating a school of mackerel.
Al Sharpton told Iowa he's ignored by the news media because
he's black. The contest for coverage is fierce. Al Sharpton could
ask every woman who works at the check-in desk for a tour of the
hotel but John Kerry's always there ahead of him.
Kentucky firefighters battled a blaze at the Jim Beam
warehouse in Bardstown this past week. They had to turn their
hoses on eight hundred thousand gallons of bourbon. After three
days the whiskey was so watered down it could only be sold in Las
Vegas.
American Airlines pilots demanded the government expand the
handgun training program to all pilots. They feel defenseless the
way things are. Those tequila shooters they have in the cockpit
are no defense at all against an observant Muslim.
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© 2002, Argus Hamilton
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