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Jewish World Review July 17, 2003 / 17 Tamuz, 5763

Argus Hamilton

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And now for the
important news ....


http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | French President Jacques Chirac refused Monday to send French troops to Iraq to assist U.S. forces there. They could have made an important contribution. The French Army has the best cooks in the world, and their aprons double as battle flags.

Anaheim Angel Garrett Anderson singled, doubled and homered to lead the American League All-Stars to victory on Tuesday night. For his performance he was given the Ted Williams Award. It's a little plastic baseball player upside down in an Icee.

Democratic presidential hopefuls appeared before the NAACP annual convention Monday in Miami. What a show of solidarity. At the end of the forum everyone held hands, closed their eyes and pretended that Al Sharpton is a serious candidate.

Democratic presidential candidates paraded on Tuesday before a gay activist group called Human Rights Campaign. The leading candidates did not endorse gay marriage. Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell will elope to Canada before that happens.

North Korea admitted it has the plutonium to build six nuclear bombs. They can reach California. Think of the business that would be lost in Beverly Hills when everybody in Southern California gets a free face peel just by walking outside.

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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements, please click here.

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© 2002, Argus Hamilton