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Jewish World Review April 30, 2002 / 18 Iyar, 5762

Argus Hamilton

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Consumer Reports


And now for the
important news ....


http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | Los Angeles observed the tenth anniversary of the 1992 riots yesterday. Everyone is getting along now. Last night, a white guy, a black guy, and a Hispanic guy were seen running down Wilshire Boulevard, and they were carrying a TV set together.

The New York Times reported Sunday the United States government is planning to topple Saddam Hussein sometime next year. We're not quite ready yet. During last weekend's mock rehearsal, we couldn't even overthrow the president of Venezuela.

Israel agreed to a proposal Sunday to end the one-month-long siege of Yasser Arafat. He was released after being in lock-up for twenty-eight days. Israel should have told us in the first place that they were following the Betty Ford Peace Plan.

Crown Prince Abdullah's pilot told Waco air tower Saturday that no female air traffic controller may issue instructions to the plane. How silly. The prince should meet Anna Nicole Smith if he doesn't think women know how to land men in Texas.

Connecticut newspapers report that Kennedy cousin Michael Skakel was expelled from private school in 1978 for threatening a teacher with a ski pole. He's on trial for murdering a girl with a golf club. Do Easterners really think they can compete with O.J. and Robert Blake with spring break implements?



JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements, please click here.

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© 2002, Argus Hamilton