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Jewish World Review June 4, 2002 / 23 Sivan, 5762

Argus Hamilton

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And now for the
important news ....


http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | The Tony Awards were handed out in New York City on Sunday night. A musical called Urinetown won three awards. Inspired by the show's success, the FBI and CIA plan to spend all week dancing around questions from Congress and leaking on each other to the press.

The United States, Great Britain, Australia and Canada advised personnel to leave India on Saturday. It's over fear of a nuclear missile exchange. Some parts of the Old Empire are so thrilled about Queen Elizabeth's Jubilee that fireworks just aren't enough.

India and Pakistan mobilized a million troops apiece Sunday. They also tested their nuclear arsenals. If there's one bright side to this, it's that for the first time in twenty-five years, nobody is saying this war could become another Vietnam.

Defense Secretary Don Rumsfeld went to South Asia to try to prevent war from erupting between Pakistan and India. Preparation is the key to peace and harmony. That's why Texas Tech bolted their chairs to the floor before Bobby Knight arrived.

Congress is holding hearings this week to learn who failed to warn the White House of September 11th attacks. The finger- pointing is vicious. Pakistan and India just sent special envoys to Washington to try to keep war from breaking out between the FBI and the CIA.

Newsweek reports that the CIA started watching two September 11th terrorists in Malaysia back in 2000. They watched them enter America, they watched them enroll in flight school, and they never told the FBI or the INS. Never let it be said that the CIA can't keep a secret.

House Judiciary Chairman Jim Sensenbrenner warned that increased FBI surveillance powers could bring back the bad old days when the FBI snooped on Martin Luther King. It was ordered by Bobby Kennedy in 1962 because Dr. King was getting money from the Communist Party's New York lawyer, Stanley Levison. Today, it's considered a hate thought just to know that.

Greenpeace picketed the White House on Thursday for pulling out of the Kyoto Treaty. The evidence on global warming points in both directions. Scientists are unable to explain how the ice shelf is breaking up and the Clintons remain together.



JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements, please click here.

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© 2002, Argus Hamilton