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Jewish World Review Sept. 9, 2003 / 12 Elul, 5763

Argus Hamilton

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And now for the
important news ....


http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | Cal Tech said Thursday the asteroid the size of a football field approaching Earth will miss us. It was a pretty close call. Los Angeles came within a million miles of getting a new stadium without having to file an environmental impact report.

The Dallas Cowboys named Quincy Carter starting quarterback for Sunday's home opener. He's got guts. Troy Aikman retired after suffering so many concussions that when the Liberty Bell was taken out for cleaning last year he filled in for it.

General Electric negotiated to acquire Universal Studios Tuesday. They can't lose. If a movie is a hit they rake in the money at the box office, and if the movie is a bomb they attach a guidance system to it and sell it to the Pentagon.

Arnold Schwarzenegger was heckled Wednesday by Long Beach student protesters from a group called La Raza, which is Spanish for the race. It's like a giant practical joke. The son of a Nazi was attacked by a group that favors racial purity.

NBC News found a Ten Commandments display outside a Redondo Beach courthouse in Los Angeles Friday. It's no big deal. Californians see it every day and figure a drug defendant parked his surfboard upright while he was inside getting sentenced.

President Bush dropped his dog Barney on his head at the Waco Airport tarmac last week. He landed with a frightening thud. Thank goodness Barney survived or the Democrats would

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01/02/03:Annual Review of the Past Year's Mischief
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© 2002, Argus Hamilton