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Jewish World Review May 9, 2003 / 6 Iyar, 5763

Argus Hamilton

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Consumer Reports


And now for the
important news ....


http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | The Washington Wizards dumped Michael Jordan Wednesday without even offering him a coaching job in the organization. There's no way he can perform the duties expected of today's head coaches anyway. His wife has him on way too short a leash.

Alabama coach Mike Price was fired for having strippers in his hotel room on a road trip. It's serious in the South. Bill Clinton is lucky he was just the governor of Arkansas and not the head coach or he would have lost his job years ago.

Muppets creator Jim Henson's family bought back the Muppets from the German firm that bought the family business two years ago. They couldn't make it work. No matter how much the Germans tortured those puppets, they couldn't make them talk.

Saddam Hussein issued an audiotape in Baghdad on Wednesday addressed to the Iraqi people. He urged armed resistance and overthrow on the recording. Getting away with his life and one billion dollars isn't enough, he wants to be a rap star known as Ace of Spades.

Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills was completely shut down by police on Wednesday when one store reported an anthrax scare. No one knows what it was. The white powder was injected into a wrinkle before police could obtain a sample for testing.

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© 2002, Argus Hamilton