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Jewish World Review August 22, 2002 / 14 Elul, 5762

Argus Hamilton

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And now for the
important news ....


http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | Iraq invited a delegation of U.S. congressmen to fly to Baghdad to check out the country for weapons of mass destruction. There's an ulterior motive. Saddam Hussein is desperate to find out how congressmen manage to stay in office for life.

Baghdad nixed the idea of full U.N. inspection teams Tuesday because they said the teams would include U.S. spies. The CIA guys are ready to go. After eleven months of intense training, a good three of them can recite Run, Spot, Run in fluent Arabic.

An Iraqi official told CNN Tuesday that President Bush is an idiot who's in the hands of the Zionists. This shows how intellectually bankrupt the Iraqi regime has become. They are stealing Pat Buchanan's applause lines from the 1992 campaign.

New Hampshire cops rounded up three men for planning to steal all the drugs from a pharmacy. Tracking them down was easy. Detectives working backwards tried to figure out who would want to create a prescription drug crisis in New Hampshire, and an all- points bulletin went out for Kerry, Gore, and Lieberman within the hour.

Beverly Hills held its first day of school of the fall semester Monday. The district encourages self-expression. This year, each child had to stand in front of the class, state their names, and say where they went on their summer kidnapping.

CBS admits one of the male contestants on Survivor was a porn star. They say his porn career is in the past and now he's a successful used-car salesman. He was discovered in 1993 when National Geographic went In Search of the Lost Clinton.



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© 2002, Argus Hamilton