Jewish World Review Dec. 16, 2002 / 11 Teves, 5763
important news ....
http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | The U.S. Census said Friday half of all working Americans have no retirement savings at all. It's bleak. Prison Life magazine says inmates are getting more and more inquiries from their baby boomer relatives about the food and TV privileges.
Trent Lott insisted Friday he will remain Majority Leader. The GOP has a one-seat majority. When the Senate convenes in January, Republicans will bow their heads, close their eyes and give thanks that Strom Thurmond was not born in October.
The President Bush talking doll completely sold out its first shipment to toy stores Friday. The firm says it plans to make other talking presidential dolls as well. As you might expect, the President Clinton talking doll is Gennifer Flowers.
Henry Kissinger decided to step down Friday as chairman of the commission that will probe the September 11th attack. Many people were glad to see him go. Five minutes after the announcement, the air raid siren in Hanoi signaled the all-clear.
The State Department disputed Iraq's weapons declaration Friday. They believe that Saddam Hussein has chemical, biological and nuclear weapons. North Korea is starting to wonder if they have to attack Pearl Harbor to make the six o'clock news.
Great Britain said Friday they will send troops to the Persian Gulf to join American and Australian troops for a possible invasion of Iraq. Everyone's in a race against time. The war must be over by April when Anglo-Saxons get the golf bug.
Sean Penn flew to Baghdad on Friday to visit hospitals and speak out against any planned U.S. attack on Iraq. He's heard the screams of anguished soldiers and sailors before. On many nights, Madonna made him sleep next door in the guest room.
Rosie O'Donnell said Winona Ryder was prosecuted because her movies had been unsuccessful. The arrest extended her career. Department store security cameras in Beverly Hills use flattering filters that take ten years off a shoplifter's face.
The L.A. City Council gave cops authority to impound the cars of men arrested with prostitutes inside their vehicles with them. Liberal groups are outraged. They're arresting the only people in California who show any willingness to carpool.
Cleveland high school basketball star LeBron James drew national television coverage on Thursday. He could turn pro as early as next year. The Los Angeles Lakers may have the inside track because their uniforms are the same color as Barney.
Tom Daschle said Thursday Democrats will do everything possible to fight the Bush tax cuts. He sounded serious. Only one thing can stop the Democrats, and you can bet there won't be any cameras allowed at Robert Byrd's next birthday party.
The Federal Energy Regulatory Commission heard Thursday that California was overcharged $1.8 billion by energy companies during last year's power crisis. What do you expect? This is what happens when you insist on designer-label energy.
President Bush said Friday the U.S. will offer free smallpox vaccinations to Americans. The bad news is, there's a ten percent chance the vaccine will make you violently ill. The good news is, it's three thousand dollars less than a cruise.
The National Archives in Washington is undergoing remodeling but it briefly opened last week for a display of patriotic murals. The U.S. Constitution and the Declaration of Independence were removed from the premises last year. They were taken away so they wouldn't go poking their noses into the new Homeland Security Department.
Hollywood celebrities issued a letter Thursday calling on the White House to stop its war talk and give U.N. inspections a chance. The actors are opposed to an invasion of Iraq for humanitarian reasons. Mideast war movies are all shot in Yuma.
The Gangs of New York directed by Martin Scorsese opened nationwide Friday and tells of immigrants who arrived in America during the last century. It was a time of great opportunity. Lucky Luciano arrived at Ellis island in 1901 without a nickel to his name and by the time he was deported in 1948, he was worth over $100 million.