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Jewish World Review Dec. 4, 2002 / 29 Kislev, 5763

Argus Hamilton

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And now for the
important news ....


http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | Senator John Edwards flew to NATO headquarters in Europe Monday to buff his foreign policy credentials as a presidential candidate. He's a bright, handsome, youthful, Southern Democrat. What comedians wouldn't give for another one of these.

Robert Redford urged the White House Monday to promote solar energy. He's not convincing anybody. His house has been powered by solar energy for thirty years and his face looks like a pair of chaps at the Cowboy Hall of Fame in Oklahoma City.

United Nations weapons inspectors searched an alcohol plant near Baghdad on Monday and hinted that the alcohol produced there can be used for chemical weapons. How else could alcohol be of any use in that country? There are no blondes in Iraq.

Laura Bush accepted delivery of the White House Christmas tree on Monday. The eighteen-foot fir was delivered in a horse- drawn cart. Democrats agreed to let the Republicans cut down a tree as long they didn't use fossil fuels to transport it. without President Bush is like a day without dental surgery.

President Bush startled Baby Boomers by naming Henry Kissinger to investigate the September 11th attacks. It raised suspicions. Until now, it hadn't occurred to anybody that Henry Kissinger might be the one behind the September 11th attacks.

Henry Kissinger was sued in Washington D.C. for allegedly ordering the murder of a Chilean general in 1971. It's just a civil suit. That means whether Henry Kissinger is found liable or not liable for the murder, Fred Goldman gets the piano.



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© 2002, Argus Hamilton