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Jewish World Review Oct. 29, 2002 / 23 Mar-Cheshvan, 5763

Argus Hamilton

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And now for the
important news ....


http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | Fox News asked the U.N. for permission to allow Fox News camera crews to follow U.N. weapons inspectors all over Iraq as they search suspected weapons sites. This should make great television. If they throw open the doors and there's nothing inside, Geraldo Rivera will be 0 for 2.

Walter Mondale sounded agreeable Sunday about becoming the U.S. Senate nominee of the Minnesota Democratic Farmers Party. He said that his passions are rooted in their interests. That night, his wife came to bed dressed as a sugar beet subsidy.

Dallas Cowboy Emmitt Smith broke Walter Payton's all-time NFL record for most career rushing yardage Sunday afternoon. Over the last eleven years, he's been the busiest man in pro football. You guessed it, he was the team's designated driver.

Mexico's President Vicente Fox joined France and Russia Saturday in opposition to President Bush's zero-tolerance against Iraq. No one was surprised. Any guy who drinks the water in Mexico every day can't be that worried about biological weapons.

William Webster was appointed Friday to head a watchdog commission to police the accounting industry. Accountants have to be relieved. If they couldn't get Mr. Magoo, the former head of the FBI and CIA sounds like the next best thing.

SEC Chairman Harvey Pitt refused demands for his resignation on Friday. He's presiding over a real mess. Corporate executives who used to guest weekly on Moneyline with Lou Dobbs are now regulars on World's Scariest Police Car Chases.

Senator Hillary Clinton spoke at a Democratic fundraiser at Warner Bros. president Alan Horn's house in Beverly Hills Saturday. She's just like a rock star in this town. Right after her speech, a dozen plastic surgeons rushed the stage.

Esquire magazine praised Bill Clinton this month for the well-tailored suits he has begun wearing since he entered private life two years ago. It's really nothing new. Women have long admired Bill Clinton for dressing so well, and so quickly.



JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements, please click here.

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© 2002, Argus Hamilton