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Jewish World Review Feb. 4, 2003 / 2 Adar I, 5763

Argus Hamilton

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And now for the
important news ....


http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | NBC began airing Arena Football League games Sunday, hoping national exposure will make the game a hit. It's sparking a debate. Human rights activists argue that there's not enough prison space in the U.S. to support two pro football leagues.

American Airlines executives met in Dallas on Friday to try to rescue the company from bankruptcy. The number of passenger boardings fell fifteen percent last year. It would have been higher, but they keep taking the terrorists off the planes.

Dick Cheney warned Friday that low U.S. crude reserves may require drilling in Alaska sooner and not later. What is he thinking? Anyone who thinks the country is running dangerously low on crude hasn't watched network television in five years.

The White House said Saturday it will ease rules that force companies to pay overtime after forty hours. They say the forty- hour work week is antiquated. It's the first step on the path leading to reparations for the descendants of slave owners.

President Bush and Tony Blair committed Great Britain and the United States to taking military action to disarm Iraq if necessary Thursday. The partnership has political benefits as well. Nothing will ensure the survival of the Republican Party like 200,000 soldiers coming home hooked on High Tea every day at four o'clock.

Tony Blair said he and President Bush prefer another U.N. resolution before a war in Iraq. Their problem is the Security Council. France might command more respect if the French Ambassador didn't always vote against war with both hands in the air.

North Dakota Senator Kent Conrad delivered the Democratic response to President Bush's weekly radio address on Saturday. Every week, a Democrat faces the same impossible choice. It's either agree with the president or come out in favor of evil.

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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements, please click here.

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© 2002, Argus Hamilton