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Jewish World Review August 6, 2002 /28 Menachem-Av, 5762

Argus Hamilton

Hamilton
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And now for the
important news ....


http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | The U.S. agreed to give Uruguay an emergency $1.5 billion loan after rioting and looting broke out in the streets. This inspires a lot of hope. It looks like California is one police beating away from solving its worst budget crisis in history.

Saddam Hussein called White House charges Friday that Iraq is hiding nuclear weapons a joke. He knows a joke when he hears one. Radio Baghdad just held a telephone call-in contest for the funniest Saddam Hussein joke and the winner got 40 years.

Al Gore denied Saturday that his People versus the Powerful message is anti-business. He declared that the Democratic party has a mission to protect the little guy. Spoken like a politician who just found out which character got all the laughs in Goldmember.

Hillary Clinton is lobbying for New York and Teddy Kennedy is pushing for Boston as the site of the 2004 Democratic convention. What a stalemate. It's not like either one can blackmail the other with embarrassing information that could ruin their family's good name.

The Senate failed to pass the Homeland Security Bill Friday. Airports can't screen the luggage, pilots are showing up drunk, a different terminal gets evacuated every day, and the ACLU is siding with the Arabs. If Jerry Lewis isn't named the new Director of Homeland Security, the White House simply isn't going with the flow.

Florida Congressional candidate Chuck Kalogianis has admitted he once worked as a male stripper. He danced in a chicken costume, which he took off in front of screaming women throwing money at him. The building hasn't even broken ground yet in Little Rock, and already we have our first graduate of the Clinton School of Public Service.



JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements, please click here.

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© 2002, Argus Hamilton