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Jewish World Review Nov. 5, 2002 / 30 Mar-Cheshvan, 5763

Argus Hamilton

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Consumer Reports


And now for the
important news ....


http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | Santa Clause 2 starring Tim Allen topped the weekend box office, although critics say the script is a little too incredible for adults to enjoy. Psychiatrists have a clinical term for adults who still believe in Santa Claus. They call them Democrats.

America votes today under the watchful eye of election monitors from foreign nations including Bosnia. So far, the Bosnian observers are shocked by what they have seen. They can't believe the country got so bent out of shape over one sniper.

Minnesota Governor Jesse Ventura said he's so angry at Democrats he may pick a name out of the phone book to sit in the Senate. This nation owes him a debt of gratitude. He took politics and raised it to the level of professional wrestling.

Los Angeles faces the issue of municipal secession today. Voters will decide whether to break up into three cities, or to break up into two cities, or to remain together as one city. Until today, the decision was pretty much up to the earthquake.

Walter Mondale quit his law firm Friday and resigned from all the corporate boards he serves on. He is a preacher's kid, a lawyer, a corporate executive, and a politician. The way he breezes through airport security must drive Muslims insane.



JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements, please click here.

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© 2002, Argus Hamilton