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Jewish World Review April 16, 2003 / 14 Nisan, 5763

Argus Hamilton

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And now for the
important news ....


http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | The Pentagon said Sunday the U.S. Army acquired Saddam Hussein's DNA. They must have found it searching through his mistress's townhouse. If they want to know Saddam Hussein's whereabouts, he should be shopping for office space in Harlem any day now.

Don Rumsfeld said Sunday senior Iraqi military leaders are trying to flee to Syria along with senior officials. It's no secret why they're running. Wherever there are that many seniors there must be an Early Bird dinner that ends at seven.

Hollywood Boulevard was the site of anti-war protests Sunday in Tinseltown's downtown district. The street is full of pimps and con men and drug addicts and hookers. They become experts on Middle East policy the moment they receive an Oscar.

Saddam Hussein's half-brother Watban was captured near Syria Sunday one week after U.S. forces nailed Saddam's half-brother Barzan in central Iraq. There's an easier way to get all of Saddam Hussein's relatives. Schedule a reading of his will.

President Bush's evangelical beliefs were cited in Time magazine as a motive for his actions in the Middle East. Now we know what's next. Evangelicals are devoted followers of St. Paul, and every other sermon involves the Road to Damascus.

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© 2002, Argus Hamilton