Jewish World Review April 16, 2003 / 14 Nisan, 5763
Argus Hamilton
And now for the
important news ....
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The Pentagon said Sunday the U.S. Army acquired Saddam
Hussein's DNA. They must have found it searching through his
mistress's townhouse. If they want to know Saddam Hussein's
whereabouts, he should be shopping for office space in Harlem any
day now.
Don Rumsfeld said Sunday senior Iraqi military leaders are
trying to flee to Syria along with senior officials. It's no
secret why they're running. Wherever there are that many seniors
there must be an Early Bird dinner that ends at seven.
Hollywood Boulevard was the site of anti-war protests Sunday
in Tinseltown's downtown district. The street is full of pimps and
con men and drug addicts and hookers. They become experts on
Middle East policy the moment they receive an Oscar.
Saddam Hussein's half-brother Watban was captured near Syria
Sunday one week after U.S. forces nailed Saddam's half-brother
Barzan in central Iraq. There's an easier way to get all of Saddam
Hussein's relatives. Schedule a reading of his will.
President Bush's evangelical beliefs were cited in Time
magazine as a motive for his actions in the Middle East. Now we
know what's next. Evangelicals are devoted followers of St. Paul,
and every other sermon involves the Road to Damascus.
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© 2002, Argus Hamilton
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