Jewish World Review Dec. 27, 2002 / 23 Teves, 5763
important news ....
http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | Saddam Hussein issued a Christmas Eve message accusing the President of the United States of lies, deception, fabrications, and evil intentions. It had to crush Democrats. For two years they've been saying that George W. Bush is no Bill Clinton.
Christmas Eve snowstorms caused nerve-wracking passenger delays at airports on Tuesday. Seasoned travelers know that boarding an airplane is a lot like marrying Julia Roberts. If you can just be patient, eventually it will be your turn.
Los Angeles was slapped with eight million dollars in federal fines Monday for violating the Clean Water Act. The city was held responsible for three hundred sewage spills. This is the downside of being the Entertainment Capital of the World.
Sen. Patty Murray is refusing to apologize for praising Osama bin Laden as a humanitarian builder of roads and schools. It's going to be a sentimental New Year's in Washington. Trent Lott will go out carrying a scythe and Patty Murray will come in wearing a diaper.
Bill Frist took over as Majority Leader of the Senate Monday. He will try to persuade lawmakers to cut back on their spending projects to prevent even deeper deficits. Congress is living proof that you can't trust a dog to watch your food.
Democrats began opposition research on Bill Frist Monday, searching for any signs of racism in his past. It's not going well. They came up with an old photo of him in a white gown and a mask over his face, but it turns out all surgeons wear that when they're working.
Fidel Castro ranted against the medical profession Friday because his doctors told him he was too sick to give a speech to Cuba's parliament. Cuba's economy is suffering from a lack of exports. Even their six-year-olds bounce back to them.
The Transportation Department issued strict new rules for checked baggage Monday. The government wants suitcases unlocked, toothbrushes in clear bags, shoes on top, books side-by-side, and no food items. If travel agents thought they were losing business to the Internet, wait until they see how many jobs they lose to drill sergeants.