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Jewish World Review Sept. 3, 2003 / 6 Elul, 5763

Argus Hamilton

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And now for the
important news ....


http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | New York former governor Mario Cuomo publicly urged Senator Hillary Clinton Sunday to run for U.S. president in 2004. It's not too late. Hillary Clinton has tremendous name recognition, and if she can she overcome that she may have a chance.

Democratic candidates spent Labor Day in Iowa attacking Howard Dean. The man is absolutely amazing. Howard Dean is the only doctor ever to raise six million dollars on the Internet without writing Viagra prescriptions for complete strangers.

Gray Davis brought a news camera crew with him to church Sunday. Talk about miracles. Gray Davis was asked to read from Revelations and he just happened to have a copy of Arnold Schwarzenegger's Oui magazine interview in his coat pocket.

Arnold Schwarzenegger said he cannot remember a Oui magazine interview where he bragged about engaging in group sex. It put to rest all questions about his party label. Arnold Schwarzenegger isn't a Republican or a Democrat, he's a Kennedy.

Arnold Schwarzenegger opposed giving driver's licenses to illegal immigrants Monday. Gray Davis and Cruz Bustamante promptly accused Arnold of being bigoted. The tension over illegal immigration in California is so high that Kobe Bryant could get an all-white jury in Colorado next month and nobody would notice or care.

Madonna delighted the MTV Awards Friday by giving a long wet kiss to Britney Spears. It's right in synch with the governor's race. In California you never know what kind of fruits or nuts you will be having with dinner until the doorbell rings.

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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements, please click here.

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01/02/03:Annual Review of the Past Year's Mischief
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© 2002, Argus Hamilton