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Jewish World Review June 18, 2003 / 18 Sivan, 5763

Argus Hamilton

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Consumer Reports


And now for the
important news ....


http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | Hillary Clinton broke sales records with her memoirs Living History. She has recouped the $8 million advance already and she's the talk of the nation. Every so often, the Divine likes to show the Republicans how to really make Bill Clinton suffer.

California voters produced thousands more signed petitions Monday demanding that Governor Gray Davis face a recall election. Democrats are abandoning him in droves. At this moment, Gray Davis is lonelier than a prairie dog at a petting zoo.

The NBA Finals set the record for the lowest prime time basketball championship TV ratings ever. The network promised advertisers improvements for next year. They just hired Monica Lewinsky to interview the players in a halftime reality show called Mister Paternity.

Iran's Grand Ayatollah dared the United States to attack Iran Monday. Back in the late 1970s the Revolutionary Guard captured and held hostage every American they could grab. That's how much in demand good disco instructors were at the time.

President Bush praised demonstrations in Iran Sunday as evidence of a desire for freedom by the people. The revolutionary government still has its hard-core support. The postal service even has Jimmy Carter's picture on the Hostage Due stamp.

Ireland's Star newspaper says Bill Clinton telephoned his celebrity friends to donate recipes for a cookbook to benefit his library. His own culinary skills are limited, which is why he needs help. After all, how many ways can you heat up a tart?

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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements, please click here.

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© 2002, Argus Hamilton