Jewish World Review Nov. 13, 2002 / 8 Kislev, 5763
important news ....
http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | Barry Bonds was voted baseball's Most Valuable Player for the fifth time on Monday. He garnered every vote. Along with Saddam Hussein, Barry Bonds proves that it is possible to be both universally disliked and unanimously elected.
Eminem's first movie, Eight Mile, broke box office records Saturday. The world is upside down. The number-one rapper is white, the number-one golfer is black, and Saddam Hussein just asked his parliament if they have any ideas at this point.
The Iraqi Parliament convened Monday to discuss the U.N. resolution. Like every legislature, they have their pecking order. In the Iraqi Parliament building, the windowless office deepest in the basement is reserved for the Speaker of the House.
Minnesota Senator Dean Barkley stayed Independent Monday, giving Democrats two more weeks in power. So, no Homeland Security bill, no tax cuts and no budget. If Terry Bradshaw had had this kind of blocking, he would be speaking in complete sentences today.
The Pentagon reportedly wants to employ giant blimps to patrol the U.S. border and tighten up national security. The plan would ring the nation with blimps. The idea is to give al-Qaeda so many targets that they can't find our football games.
Florence, Italy hosted an anti-war protest Sunday with five hundred thousand people there. They carried posters charging the U.S. and Britain with trying to conquer the world. For crying out loud, every hundred years it's the same complaint.
Tony Blair warned Britons Monday about a possible terrorist attack. The British government is working very closely with the CIA. So don't be surprised if a Hellfire missile just happens to hit a certain butler's car on the way to his next tell-all interview.
Red China urged Taiwan on Sunday to open up sea trade and air traffic routes between the island and the mainland. Caution is advised. Never trust any country with over a billion people that tries to tell you Ping-Pong is their favorite sport.