Jewish World Review August 6, 2003 / 8 Menachem-Av, 5763
Argus Hamilton
And now for the
important news ....
http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com |
The Wall Street Journal urged Hillary Clinton on Monday to
run for President of the United States. The endorsement came out
of nowhere. Bob Hope hasn't been in heaven a week and already he's
throwing his weight around on behalf of comedians.
U.S. forces in Iraq have begun training recruits for the new
Iraqi army, which will be trained and ready in two months. Their
services are desperately needed. Somebody has to patrol the
streets of Los Angeles in case Kobe Bryant gets convicted.
Tiger Woods clobbered a spectator with an approach shot at
the Buick Open on national television Sunday. The guy was knocked
unconscious and required three stitches to his head. Tiger Woods
could get twenty-eight days in the Jerry Ford Center.
Colin Powell flew to Crawford on Monday to meet with
President Bush and deny rumors he will resign. He's been a
general, a Chairman of the Joint Chiefs and a Secretary of State
and his goal has always been the same. Avoid flying commercial.
Saddam Hussein's voice was identified by the CIA as
authentic on the dictator's latest audiotape message Monday. He's
releasing these tapes more frequently now. It's getting to where
Saddam Hussein follows Paul Harvey every day at twelve-fifteen.
Howard Dean told Larry King Monday he is opposed to the war
in Iraq but he's glad Saddam Hussein is gone. He's nothing if not
consistent. When Howard Dean was a doctor he wouldn't even remove
an appendix unless France and Germany were onboard.
Governor Gray Davis filed suit Monday challenging the
legality of his recall election. He's getting desperate. Yesterday
Gray Davis allowed five gay guys to follow him around Sacramento
to teach him how to dress and act more like a governor.
Hustler publisher Larry Flynt will run for California
governor. Fundraising is no problem. All he has to do is threaten
to publish pictures of movie stars from their first year in
Hollywood and the checks will start arriving by Overnight Mail.
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01/02/03:Annual Review of the Past Year's Mischief
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© 2002, Argus Hamilton
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