Jewish World Review July 28, 2003 / 28 Tamuz, 5763
Argus Hamilton
And now for the
important news ....
http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com |
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix just became
Germany's first English language number-one seller. They couldn't
wait for the book to be translated into the German language. It's
going to be called Harry Potter and Just Following Orders.
Harrison Ford was voted Biggest Flop of the Summer by
critics for Hollywood Homicide. His career is far from over.
Harrison Ford's agent just got him a new deal with HBO that gives
him three hundred channels for only forty dollars a month.
The Presidential Medal of Freedom was awarded Wednesday to
UCLA's basketball coaching legend John Wooden. His name wasn't
always synonymous with victory. In the last presidential election,
Al Gore's Secret Service code name was Coach Wooden.
Tony Blair called for greater democracy in Hong Kong Monday
during his visit to the former colony. He's wary about Chinese
plans for the place. Never trust any country with a billion people
who claims that Ping-Pong is their favorite sport.
Baghdad burst into celebration Tuesday when word arrived
that Udey and Qusay were killed. What a pair. Udey was known for
shooting heroin, using date rape drugs on women and torturing
Olympic athletes while Qusay was known as the evil one.
Udey and Qusay Hussein were killed Thursday along with their
bodyguard and a teenage boy in a six-hour firefight with the 101st
Airborne. The four guys did prove one thing. Not all those Coors
Boys' Night Out commercials have a happy ending.
Teamsters chief James Hoffa threatened any Democrat who
votes for free trade deals. It doesn't pay to cross the Teamsters.
No one's sure how Private Jessica Lynch wound up getting her legs
broken in Iraq, but she was a non-union truck driver.
The Protect Arizona Now ballot initiative was launched in
Arizona. It requires proof of citizenship for government services.
If California had this law, Gray Davis would face a recall
election over the embarrassing size of the budget surplus.
California Governor Gray Davis assured Democrats on Thursday
he will survive the recall election set for October. Don't bet on
it. If Gray Davis's future in politics looked any more gruesome
the Pentagon would be releasing photographs of it.
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01/02/03:Annual Review of the Past Year's Mischief
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© 2002, Argus Hamilton
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