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Jewish World Review Feb. 26, 2003 / 24 Adar I, 5763

Argus Hamilton

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And now for the
important news ....


http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | Sir Paul McCartney announced Wednesday his rock band will perform a European tour called Back in the World. He promised his fans he will sing his most popular songs of the last forty years. Every show will include three encores and two naps.

Dan Rather said Monday that Saddam Hussein walked stiffly into the interview room. It could be his back. However John Kerry's proctologist has been asked to fly to Baghdad to check one last place where Saddam Hussein might be hiding missiles.

Saddam Hussein challenged President Bush to a televised debate over the need for war. The president isn't about to debate a crackpot. His father lost the White House ten years ago after agreeing to stand on the same stage with Ross Perot.

California Governor Gray Davis was hit with a recall campaign Monday due to huge deficits. The state is a mess. The director of the Department of Motor Vehicles tried to resign Monday but found he had been standing in the wrong line.

The New York Post detailed Hillary Clinton's political action committee cash outlays. It turns out she spends two-thirds of the money on herself. It's part of her commitment to better government to make sure that every day is a good hair day.

Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue cover girl Petra Nemcova rang the closing bell on Wall Street Monday. It was a novelty to see a swimsuit model ring the bell. Back when President Clinton was in office, all they did was blow the whistle.

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© 2002, Argus Hamilton