Jewish World Review July 1, 2003 / 1 Tamuz, 5763
Argus Hamilton
And now for the
important news ....
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Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix continued its
historic sales spree last weekend. The author established a
publishing house record. It's the most number of books anybody
ever sold without being publicly humiliated by Bill Clinton.
Mexico said Friday they will prosecute the American bounty
hunter who nabbed fugitive Max Factor heir Andrew Luster on their
soil. At least we won't be going to war over this. Mexico's
chemical and biological weapons come right out of the tap.
Baghdad guerrilla leaders vowed Sunday they will run the
U.S. out of Iraq. It's not going to happen. If there's one thing
the world has learned, it's that Americans are willing to go
anywhere, bear any burden, and pay any price to avoid driving
electric cars.
The Federal Trade Commission said Saturday Americans are
rushing to join the list to block sales calls. The do-not-call
list is already paying dividends. On Monday morning, Howard Dean
was officially declared an unwanted telemarketer in Iowa and New
Hampshire.
Arnold Schwarzenegger was begged by fans Friday to run for
governor. However, there are naked bodybuilding photos of him,
bimbo eruptions are rumored, and his dad was an SS soldier in Nazi
Germany. In short, he offers something for every major voting bloc
in California.
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01/02/03:Annual Review of the Past Year's Mischief
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© 2002, Argus Hamilton
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