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Jewish World Review June 24, 2002 / 24 Tamuz, 5762

Argus Hamilton

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Consumer Reports


And now for the
important news ....


http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | Democrats asked the White House Friday to delay recognizing any Palestinian state. The violence has gotten way too routine. Just yesterday, one Palestinian woman was overheard asking another Palestinian woman if this bomb makes her look fat.

Jesse Ventura will not run for re-election as Minnesota governor. He's tired of feuding with reporters. Lately, he's been depicted by the press as secretive and simplistic and inarticulate, which is not to say he is unfit for higher office.

Jesse Ventura says he's quitting politics after one term as Minnesota governor. How did he slip through in the first place? The reason Americans hold our elections close to Thanksgiving and Christmas is to help voters tell the turkeys from the fruitcakes.

Major League Baseball begins counting ballots today for the All-Star line-up in Milwaukee. There's controversy. The city's new baseball stadium is twice the size of the old stadium, so the steroid problem may not be confined to the players.

President Bush spoke at a GOP fundraiser in Washington Wednesday attended by six thousand Republicans. At one point during his speech, you could hear a pin drop. Martha Stewart was sitting at one table and when she talks, everybody listens.

NBC News was told by reporter Peter Arnett Thursday that everyday business in Baghdad is booming, all the nightclubs and strip joints are jumping, and casinos stay open until dawn. It's obvious what's going on. Ever since President Bush named them the Axis of Evil, they have attracted more business than they can handle.

Colombia's president-elect Alvaro Uribe on Thursday pressed the United States for more economic help in the war on drugs in Colombia. Their two cash crops are coffee and cocaine. The question is, what does this country have against sleep?

Elizabeth Hurley proved in court Wednesday that producer Steve Bing fathered her baby. He can't believe it. Nobody wants to say she had lots of boyfriends but she was once kicked out of a New York hotel because she didn't have a parade permit.

Forbes magazine released its annual Celebrity 100 list ranking famous people based on income and media exposure over the previous year. Britney Spears was number one but Bill Clinton was close behind her. His taste in bimbos is improving.



JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements, please click here.

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© 2002, Argus Hamilton