Jewish World Review May 8, 2003 / 6 Iyar, 5763
Argus Hamilton
And now for the
important news ....
http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com |
U.N. cafeteria workers went berserk Friday and looted all
the food and liquor in U.N. headquarters. Even the silverware
disappeared. Everyone agreed the auditions for civil administrator
for Baghdad went well and callbacks are scheduled for next week.
Jacques Chirac sent Tony Blair six bottles of 1989 Chateau
Mouton Rothschild wine for his 50th birthday. It's a great
vintage. The French president opened a bottle for himself and the
cork made such a loud pop the Paris garrison surrendered.
Gary Hart announced Tuesday he won't run for president in
2004. He admitted that he doesn't have the enthusiasm for the
mechanics of campaigning. It's hard to believe he could have been
in politics this long and not have heard of Viagra yet.
White House Budget Director Mitch Daniels quit Monday to run
for governor of Indiana. He may win. He guided the budget from
surplus to hundreds of billions in the hole, which shouldn't hurt
him in a state that's home to the Dan Quayle Library.
Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry canceled a few
campaign events due to a severe hoarse throat, evident at
Saturday's debate. It's an occupational hazard for all
politicians. Laryngitis is G-d's gift to people who know
everything.
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© 2002, Argus Hamilton
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