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Jewish World Review Oct. 25, 2002 / 19 Mar-Cheshvan, 5763

Argus Hamilton

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And now for the
important news ....


http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | Michael Jordan sued a former mistress on Wednesday for trying to extort five million dollars in hush money from him. He used to be a womanizer, but now he's a faithful husband. When you live in Washington, it just depends on who's president.

Chinese President Jiang Zemin flew to America Tuesday for a four-day visit. He had no trouble at the border. Because he's so short, he walked right under that gigantic yellow ribbon around the United States that reads Crime Scene--Do Not Cross.

The San Francisco Giants tied the World Series with the Anaheim Angels at two games apiece at Pac Bell Park. It's a different breed of baseball fan up there. They went absolutely wild when the scoreboard flashed the Transvestite Rally Monkey.

Colin Powell flew to Mexico for the Asian-Pacific Economic Cooperation forum in Cabo San Lucas. Attendees are straggling in late. Three delegations sailed to the U.S. a month ago and are still waiting their turn to be unloaded at Long Beach.

Continental fired the pilot who showed up for work drunk in Houston. He did a very good job of hiding his condition. When they asked him the first question on the field sobriety test, he walked outside and touched the nose of the airplane.



JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements, please click here.

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© 2002, Argus Hamilton