Jewish World Review Sept. 9, 2002 / 3 Tishrei, 5763
important news ....
http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | Jimmy Carter said Thursday that Saddam Hussein is no threat to the U.S. It's all relative. When you remember cocaine, disco and the original cast of Saturday Night Live, Saddam Hussein cannot match Jimmy Carter for weapons of mass destruction.
The Arab League in Cairo voted unanimously Thursday to oppose a U.S. attack on Iraq. The vote was difficult. Western trainers had to spend two hours teaching the Arab leaders how to raise their hands, tally the votes and announce the results.
The AP reported Thursday that Homeland Security is a phrase that makes many Americans uncomfortable. They say the word homeland sounds too Germanic. Too many people hear it and assume that Tom Ridge is the high ground overlooking Poland.
Wisconsin Badger fans were livid when their win at Las Vegas was not honored by bookies on Saturday. A mysterious power outage ended the game early. They should have realized the fix was in when the opening coin toss was won by Don King.
Flight attendants said Thursday they're not receiving adequate self-defense training. It's the same reason they don't belong in the infantry. Many of them are simply too small to force a two-hundred-pound pilot to blow into a breathalyzer.
The NEA released study guides telling teachers not to blame any group for the September 11th attacks. At this difficult time, teachers need to stay focused on blaming white males for the membership policy at the Augusta National Golf Club.
Homeland Security ordered a yellow alert for the one-year commemoration of the terrorist attacks. Not everyone has a firm grasp of the anniversary. In Los Angeles, nobody knows how many Arabs would die if there's another attack on 7-Eleven.
The United States and Colombia opened a new phase in the cocaine war Monday. They launched the biggest and most aggressive effort yet to wipe out the coca crop. They are moving it off the Chicago Commodities Exchange and onto the NASDAQ.
My Big Fat Greek Wedding is the movie hit of the summer at the Hollywood box office. It cost only $5 million to make and has made $100 million. No one's seen a return on investment like this since My Big Fat Husband Was Governor of Arkansas.
Bill Clinton and Bob Dole were interviewed together on CNN's Larry King Show Tuesday. They both do a little charity work to keep busy while their wives work. Everyone who saw the interview agreed that Larry King never looked more presidential.