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Jewish World Review Dec. 17, 2002 / 12 Teves, 5763

Argus Hamilton

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Consumer Reports


And now for the
important news ....


http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | Henry Kissinger quit as chairman of the September 11th investigation panel. He had no choice. It's an unpaid position, and that would make the United States the only government in the entire world that didn't have Henry Kissinger on the payroll.

Bob Dole may replace Henry Kissinger on the September 11th panel. He hasn't taken money from the Saudis but he did from casino, tobacco and liquor interests. No American would ever doubt the integrity of the last living member of the Rat Pack.

Trent Lott apologized again Friday and said race relations in the South need attention. It's not just a Southern problem. Black people and white people have a difficult time getting along in California because neither one of us speaks Spanish.

FBI Director Robert Mueller bragged to the press on Saturday that the FBI has thwarted one hundred terror attacks in the last year. It's true. Unfortunately, fifty of them were kamikazes intercepted between the bartender and the Bush Twins.

North Korea demanded Friday the U.S. halt all screenings of the new James Bond movie Die Another Day. The rogue nation's official news agency said the film proves that the United States is spreading a corrupt sex culture to the world. What we don't understand is who died and made Bill Clinton our Roving Ambassador of Goodwill.



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© 2002, Argus Hamilton