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Jewish World Review August 11, 2003 / 13 Menachem-Av, 5763

Argus Hamilton

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And now for the
important news ....


http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | The Ringling Brothers Circus arrived in San Diego Friday complete with funny clowns and wild animals. The news media is staked out around the big top. Any day now everyone expects the circus to run away and join the California governor's race.

The Ford Motor Company announced in Michigan on Friday it will recall almost two million of its vehicles because of structural defects. The timing of the recall couldn't be any worse. Now on top of everything else, Gray Davis is a Taurus.

John Daly was shocked Tuesday to hear that his wife was charged with cocaine dealing and running an illegal gambling racket. No one suspects him of knowing a thing about it. You can't imagine the concentration required at this level of golf.

Kobe Bryant made sure he was photographed at Disneyland Thursday while going on a water ride with wife Vanessa. It was a really lovely day. Everything was going smoothly until he asked Snow White to give him a tour of the Disneyland Hotel.

Arnold Schwarzenegger promised Friday to campaign house to house and door to door. He said that's how they do it in Europe. That may be, but there are parts of Los Angeles that won't respond well to a weightlifter's knock and a German accent.

Hillary Clinton spent last week campaigning in San Diego, San Francisco and Seattle on behalf of Democrats. It seems like the media is rooting for her to run for president. The Weather Channel just began forecasting good and bad hair days.

The California Supreme Court refused Thursday to halt the October 7th recall election. The ballot is overflowing with celebrities. Arnold Schwarzenegger is running on a vow to help the little people but Gary Coleman said that's his platform.

Arnold Schwarzenegger announced on the Tonight Show he will run for governor of California. It's a whole new day. With a Terminator in the Governor's mansion all the basketball players in this state will have to start taking no for an answer.

Gray Davis insisted Wednesday he is still the Governor of California and has an agenda for the legislature. It ain't working. Right now, being Gray Davis is like owning a cemetery, you've got a lot of people under you but nobody's listening.

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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements, please click here.

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© 2002, Argus Hamilton