Jewish World Review May 7, 2003 / 5 Iyar, 5763
Argus Hamilton
And now for the
important news ....
http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com |
Alabama fired coach Mike Price for attending a topless club
and entertaining a stripper in his hotel room. His reputation is
in tatters. Last night someone posted Mike Price's credit card
number on the Internet and no one stole his identity.
Iowa State coach Larry Eustachy was fired for partying at a
Missouri fraternity house. He was photographed kissing a wet T-
shirt contest winner. He will forever have the honor of being the
first Democrat to be eliminated in the 2004 Iowa caucus.
U.S. troops on Monday arrested the Iraqi biological weapons
scientist known as Mrs. Anthrax. It comes a month after they
captured Dr. Germ and killed Chemical Ali. A background check
confirms they all got their start as concessionaires at Woodstock.
Democrats locked horns Saturday in a debate hosted by George
Stephanopoulos. All nine candidates presented their ideas and
their personalities. Everybody who saw the debate agrees that
George Stephanopoulos never looked more presidential.
North Korea threatened to attack the U.S. with nuclear
missiles Saturday. They sound very confident. In the exchange,
North Korea would be incinerated by the flash from a nuclear
fireball, so in that sense, their future never looked brighter.
Fidel Castro said he will ask the IOC to allow Cuba to host
the 2012 Summer Olympic Games. Don't expect any of the aquatic
events to be the demonstration sport. Every Cuban who could swim
or row or water ski is already in Florida by now.
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01/02/03:Annual Review of the Past Year's Mischief
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© 2002, Argus Hamilton
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