Jewish World Review March 13, 2003 / 9 Adar II, 5763
Argus Hamilton
And now for the
important news ....
http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com |
Oklahoma U.S. Rep. Frank Lucas got a cut lip and broken tooth
when a cow head-butted him Sunday. Once a bull smashed his face with a
swinging gate. He's the only guy who hisses when the movie credits
say no animals were injured in the making of this film.
The Cowboy Church of Ellis County became the ninth cowboy
church to open its doors in Texas on Sunday. The services feature
sermons, songs, Bible study and team calf-roping after church.
Their closing hymn every Sunday is Hail to the Chief.
Bobby Knight forfeited his coach's salary at Texas Tech over
his team's losses this month. Someone must take the blame. The
coach has no recruiting violations, no doctored grades, no illegal
junior college transfers and the record to show for it.
Bayer released a brand-new anti-impotence drug called
Levitra in England on Tuesday. It's advertised to be good for five
to six hours at a time. Tony Blair bought up the entire first
shipment to keep the Labor Party from going soft on Iraq.
Senate Republicans plan to vote to open the Arctic National
Wildlife Refuge to oil drilling by next week. Objections are
strenuous. The French Ambassador is demanding that the United
States government give the Caribou more time to cooperate.
Congress gave France a slap Monday and changed French fries
on its cafeteria menu to freedom fries. It's not enough. At the
rate presidential candidates have been checking into the hospital,
maybe they should drop them from the menu entirely.
North Korea was reported Monday to be planning a long-range
missile test one week after its short-range missile test. No
matter what they do they can't get anybody's attention. If this
doesn't work, they're going to try shoplifting at Saks.
The New York Yankees fined David Wells $100,000 for the
controversial things he wrote in his just-published autobiography.
The team gave his book $10 million dollars worth of free publicity
for $100,000. So let's hope he's learned his lesson.
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© 2002, Argus Hamilton
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