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Jewish World Review June 4, 2003 / 4 Sivan, 5763

Argus Hamilton

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And now for the
important news ....


http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | Funny Cide tries for the Triple Crown at the Belmont Stakes Saturday. What a horse. Funny Cide is the second-most famous gelding in the world, at least until the Ace of Spades shows up at a Baghdad drugstore to refill his Viagra prescription.

Iraqi army troops protested in Baghdad against being relieved of duty. They threatened suicide bombings if they don't get their jobs back. How are they ever going to set up a government in Iraq if everyone takes off for a vacation in Israel?

Howard Dean called John Kerry a copycat for stealing his applause lines. The crop of Democratic candidates is just pitiful. If these guys don't get more interesting, Hillary Clinton could be the first member of her family to be drafted.

Hillary Clinton promotes her White House memoir on ABC's 20/20 Sunday. Is this necessary? In this time of war and recession, the last thing the country wants to read is another tell-all by a woman who claims that she slept with Bill Clinton.

Martha Stewart was unable to reach a deal with the Justice Department Monday over charges of obstructing an SEC investigation. She could face prison time if convicted. On the bright side, it's a step up from be ing portrayed by Cybill Shepherd.

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© 2002, Argus Hamilton