Jewish World Review Dec. 24, 2002 / 19 Teves, 5763
Argus Hamilton
And now for the important news ....
http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com |
Senator Robert Byrd plays a Confederate general in the movie
Gods and Generals this February. Talk about stage fright. At the
time he took the role, he had no idea you could be run out of town
just for wishing a segregationist a happy birthday.
Senator Patty Murray said Friday Osama bin Laden is popular
because he builds roads and schools and America is hated because
we don't. It's a grim reminder. If Democrats stop pandering to the
construction unions, the terrorists will have won.
Hillary Clinton leads other Democratic candidates in the
latest presidential poll. There's a Bush in the White House, a war
in Iraq, a recession and a Clinton waiting in the wings. Time
Warner must have told CNN to save money and show reruns.
President Bush dismissed Iraq's hidden weapons declaration
Thursday. He said the declaration is riddled with lies and
omissions but it doesn't mean war is inevitable. That's a but big
enough to cause a double-fare on Southwest Airlines.
North Korea disconnected all the U.N. surveillance video
cameras watching their nuclear reactors. They don't like being
watched. Winona Ryder heard the news and jumped on the next plane
to North Korea for some last-minute Christmas shopping.
Minority Report was released in video stores Tuesday. It's a
story set fifty years from now in which Americans are arrested for
crimes they haven't committed yet. That's how long it takes to get
the Homeland Security Department up and running.
JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements,
please click here.
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© 2002, Argus Hamilton
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