Jewish World Review Dec. 10, 2002 / 5 Teves, 5763
Argus Hamilton
And now for the important news ....
http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com |
United Airlines filed for bankruptcy protection, making the
largest airline bankruptcy in American history. Terrorism is the
least of their problems. This year, they're locking the cockpit
doors to keep the planes from being repossessed.
Democratic U.S. senators blasted the White House economic
policy Saturday at a lavish party luncheon in Washington. What a
spread. For dessert they had a chocolate cake that was so rich,
John Kerry offered to dump Teresa Heinz and run off with it.
Democrat Mary Landrieu won reelection to the U.S. Senate
against a tough GOP opponent in Louisiana Saturday. Pollsters said
she won by distancing herself from Bill Clinton. The next morning,
Bill Clinton's dog was demanding a longer leash.
Senator Teddy Kennedy vowed Saturday to push for a
prescription drug program for seniors that's covered by Medicare.
It would be groundbreaking. Until now, the only way to get free
drugs in America was to wear a really short skirt to a party.
Pfizer denied claims by a Maryland scientist on Sunday that
Viagra has been linked to aggressive behavior and uncontrollable
violence. It's obviously true. Morley Safer, Mike Wallace and Andy
Rooney came to blows last week over Lesley Stahl.
JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements,
please click here.
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© 2002, Argus Hamilton
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