Jewish World Review Oct. 14, 2002 / 8 Mar-Cheshvan, 5763
important news ....
http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | Jimmy Carter was named winner of the Nobel Peace Prize Friday for his Middle East peace efforts. It's no mystery how it happened. Ever since the citizens of Baghdad started shaking the Rally Monkey, good things have been happening for them.
Jimmy Carter told reporters Friday he received a telephone call from Norway at four in the morning telling him he won the Nobel Prize. People are happy for him because nothing went right while he was president. Even Elvis died on his shift.
Christopher Columbus will be given a parade in New York today. He was the first Democrat. He left not knowing where he was going, he arrived not knowing where he was, he went home not knowing where he'd been, and he did it all on government money.
New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg vowed to boycott the Columbus Day parade if organizers ban Sopranos stars from marching. Now that's leadership. What could be more courageous than a politician defending the most popular show on television?
Senator Trent Lott refused to attend a dinner for Harry Belafonte Friday after the singer called Colin Powell a house slave. This is news. It's not often a white guy from Mississippi can refuse to eat with a black guy and claim the moral high ground.
Harry Belafonte caused a storm Tuesday by calling Colin Powell a house slave who does the bidding of his master. That's arcane language. Nowadays, whenever Democrats accuse one of their own of going Republican, they call him a Senator Tom.
Tom Daschle reversed himself Thursday and decided to support the president's war resolution. It's times like this when a politician must examine his conscience, consult his constituency, and then do whatever he thinks will play in New Hampshire.
Hillary Clinton announced on the Senate floor Thursday she will vote for the authorization of force against Iraq. She said it wasn't easy. It's the hardest decision she's had to make since she was forced to select a home state two years ago.
The House voted to authorize President Bush to use force but required him to report back every sixty days. It could have been worse for the president. They came within twelve votes of requiring him to have the report card signed by his dad.
Montana GOP Senate candidate Mike Taylor quit Tuesday because he said TV ads make him look gay. It's a break for Democrats. His opponent Senator Max Baucus is now assured of victory by a wide margin, but he'd better not claim he has a mandate.
Bill Clinton told a Boston crowd Friday the best way to celebrate the tenth anniversary of his presidential election victory is to elect Shannon O'Brien governor. He doesn't have to help get her elected. It's not like he cheated on her.