Jewish World Review Dec. 12, 2002 / 7 Teves, 5763
North Korea fires minister of
Calls plan to hide scuds under bags of cement 'boneheaded'
North Korea, still smarting from having one of its vessels interdicted in the Arabian
Sea with several poorly hidden Scud missiles on board, today fired its Minister of
Weapon-Hiding, the North Korean government announced.
In an official statement, the North Koreans said that Mr. Jang Soon Choul would step
down as Minister of Weapon-Hiding "effective immediately."
In a further sign of its disapproval with Mr. Jang's job performance, the statement
denounced his plan to hide Scud missiles under bags of cement as "boneheaded," a
term of opprobrium that the North Korean government reserves only for the most
serious official lapses.
It was a big comedown for Mr. Jang, who, in securing the top spot at the Ministry of
Weapon-Hiding had authority over one of the largest and most powerful bureaucracies
in the North Korean government, with over 170,000 employees and an annual budget
of $1.8 trillion.
As idiotic as the scheme to hide Scuds under bags of cement may have seemed,
sources close to Mr. Jang said that some of his other Scud-hiding plots had been
According to one source, Mr. Jang had seriously contemplated dressing the Scuds as
North Korean sailors and then standing them upright on the ship's deck, as if saluting.
That scheme was abandoned when no sailor uniforms could be found that would fit
the Scuds, leaving Mr. Jang with Plan B: hiding the missiles under bags of cement.
"It's hard to believe that Jang actually thought the bags of cement idea would work,"
one source said. "That wouldn't even fool Hans Blix."
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JWR Contributor Andy Borowitz, a former president of the Harvard Lampoon, is a regular humor columnist for Newsweek.com, The New Yorker, The New York Times and TV Guide. Recognized by Esquire magazine as one of the most powerful producers in television, he was the creator and producer of the hit TV series The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and producer of the Oscar-nominated film Pleasantville. He is the author, most recently, of "Trillionaire Next Door: The Greedy Investor's Guide to Day Trading" and "Rationalizations to Live By". Comments by clicking here. Visit his website by clicking here.
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© 2002, Andy Borowitz