Jewish World Review April 1, 2002 / 20 Nisan, 5762
Laughter no longer the best medicine
Bumped From The Top Spot By Red-Hot Antidepressants
Laughter, long thought to be the best medicine, has been surpassed in popularity by
two widely used antidepressants, Prozac and Zoloft, according to a just-released
market study paid for by the pharmaceuticals industry.
While being considered the third-best medicine is nothing to sneeze at, the study
indicates that laughter's market share among all medicines is a good deal smaller
than had been generally thought.
These latest findings, prescription drug insiders believe, may give rise to an altogether
new proverb: "Prozac is the best medicine, with Zoloft coming in a strong second."
Rounding out the list of the top five medicines were the anti-hay fever medication
Claratin and the popular cholesterol-reduction drug Zocor, as announced last night by
Mary Hart on "Entertainment Tonight."
Even as the pharmaceutical giants trumpeted news of their latest study, laughter's
defenders rushed to challenge the report's credibility.
"Any study that's paid for by the big drug companies is suspect, in my book," said Joey
McSwain, proprietor of Joey's Gag-a-torium, a novelty store specializing in the sale of
joy buzzers, whoopee cushions, and fake vomit.
"And even if laughter's third best, so what?" said McSwain. "At least you don't have to
forge a prescription to get it."
Risibility devotees may take comfort in knowing that laughter is not the only proverbial
panacea taking it on the chin these days.
A new study commissioned by the wireless device industry indicates that such
innovations as cell phones and Palm Pilots may have eclipsed the legendary "stitch in
time" as a timesaving aid.
According to the report, a Blackberry PDA saves over 12,000 stitches per minute,
rendering a stitch in time virtually
JWR Contributor Andy Borowitz, a former president of the Harvard Lampoon, is a regular humor columnist for Newsweek.com, The New Yorker, The New York Times and TV Guide. Recognized by Esquire magazine as one of the most powerful producers in television, he was the creator and producer of the hit TV series The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and producer of the Oscar-nominated film Pleasantville. He is the author, most recently, of "Trillionaire Next Door: The Greedy Investor's Guide to Day Trading" and "Rationalizations to Live By". Comments by clicking here. Visit his website by clicking here.
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© 2002, Andy Borowitz