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Jewish World Review March 26, 2002 / 13 Nisan, 5762

Andy Borowitz

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Consumer Reports

NBC to air ads for crack



Commercials Will Urge Viewers to Use Crack Responsibly

http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | Bowing to pressure from anti-liquor groups, NBC has scuttled its controversial plan to air advertisements for hard liquor and will run commercials for crack instead.

The ads, which NBC executives have described as "tasteful and fun," will feature Aussie songbird Kylie Minogue and will include a message urging viewers to use crack responsibly.

"Friends don't let friends turn into crackheads and ho's," reads the copy of one crack spot earmarked for primetime.

After pressure groups made NBC aware of the high number of liquor-related fatalities in the U.S. each year, the network reportedly decided to make the switch from liquor to crack.

"When you take a look at those liquor statistics, it's clear that crack is a much safer alternative," said a spokesman for NBC's ad sales department. "At NBC, we're high on crack."

But a newly created pressure group, the Coalition Against Crack Advertising On NBC, takes a somewhat dimmer view of the network's decision.

"If NBC accepts advertising for crack, what's next - handguns?" said Sandy McKay, a Coalition member.

In response, the NBC spokesman said that no decision had been made to accept ads for handguns, but that any handgun ads would air "in late-night time slots only."

While most industry insiders expressed dismay at NBC's controversial moves, some members of the advertising community were more supportive.

"Quite frankly, I'd rather see ads for crack and handguns than more episodes of that Emeril show," one ad exec said.



JWR Contributor Andy Borowitz, a former president of the Harvard Lampoon, is a regular humor columnist for Newsweek.com, The New Yorker, The New York Times and TV Guide. Recognized by Esquire magazine as one of the most powerful producers in television, he was the creator and producer of the hit TV series The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and producer of the Oscar-nominated film Pleasantville. He is the author, most recently, of "Trillionaire Next Door: The Greedy Investor's Guide to Day Trading" and "Rationalizations to Live By". Comments by clicking here. Visit his website by clicking here.

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© 2002, Andy Borowitz