Jewish World Review March 8, 2002 / 24 Adar, 5762
Comedians demand Condit recount
Funnymen Despondent Over Potential Loss of Material
Two days after embattled congressman Gary A. Condit (D-CA) was trounced in his
bid to retain his party's nomination for his Modesto, California congressional seat,
angry comedians nationwide demanded a recount.
At a pro-Condit rally last night at Gutbusters, an Akron, Ohio comedy club, comedian
Buddy Torino was among the impassioned funnymen chanting, "Holy Sh-t, Holy
Smokes, We Need Gary Condit Jokes."
"Comedians already have it pretty tough these days," Torino said. "We can't make
jokes about President Bush, or we'll be considered unpatriotic. Even those
boozehound daughters of his are off-limits. We were really counting on Condit as an
easy target in the weeks and months ahead."
If Condit is thrown out of office, Torino said, "hundreds and thousands" of
comedians may be out of a job, too, at a time when the economy is struggling to pull
itself out of a recession.
"Some of us are barely getting by, making tired old Monica Lewinsky jokes because
of that HBO special she just did," Torino points out. "But that's just a band aid - it's
not a long-term solution."
In Modesto, Congressman Condit acknowledged the long odds against a recount -
given that he lost by well over seventeen percentage points - but was nonetheless
cheered by the comedians' support.
In a prepared statement, Mr. Condit said: "I promise the good people of Modesto
that, if returned to office, I will do everything in my power to remain a national
JWR Contributor Andy Borowitz, a former president of the Harvard Lampoon, is a regular humor columnist for Newsweek.com, The New Yorker, The New York Times and TV Guide. Recognized by Esquire magazine as one of the most powerful producers in television, he was the creator and producer of the hit TV series The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and producer of the Oscar-nominated film Pleasantville. He is the author, most recently, of "Trillionaire Next Door: The Greedy Investor's Guide to Day Trading" and "Rationalizations to Live By". Comments by clicking here. Visit his website by clicking here.
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© 2002, Andy Borowitz