Jewish World Review June 10, 2002 /1 Tamuz, 5762
June 17 named 'Athletes Obey the Law Day'
Sports Stars Must Abide By Laws That Govern Rest of Us for 24 Hours
June 17 has been designated Athletes Obey The Law Day, a 24-hour period in
which professional sports stars are being asked "to voluntarily comply with the laws
that govern ordinary people."
"For one day, we are asking athletes not to drive under the influence of alcohol,
crack, marijuana, cocaine, or mushrooms," said a press release for the June 17
event, "and not to abuse, harass, beat up, key the car of, or burn down the house of
wives, ex-wives, girlfriends, ex-girlfriends, business managers, accountants, or
But the June 17 event faces stiff opposition from the athletes, who claim that
obeying the law even for one day would be onerous and unfeasible.
"Athletes already have to obey a lot of rules on the field," said Gavin Herrick, leader
of an NFL players' group. "Now, on top of that, we've got to obey the law off the field?
I don't think so!"
But the organizers of Athletes Obey The Law Day insist that change is needed, citing
the DUI arrest over the weekend of Belmont Stakes loser War Emblem.
Police picked up War Emblem late Saturday night after he was spotted driving a
Porsche sports car 110 miles per hour in the wrong direction on Manhattan's Upper
The arresting officer, Sgt. Hank Dennis of the NYPD, said he arrested War Emblem
after the Belmont loser failed a field sobriety test, proving unable to touch its hoof to
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JWR Contributor Andy Borowitz, a former president of the Harvard Lampoon, is a regular humor columnist for Newsweek.com, The New Yorker, The New York Times and TV Guide. Recognized by Esquire magazine as one of the most powerful producers in television, he was the creator and producer of the hit TV series The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and producer of the Oscar-nominated film Pleasantville. He is the author, most recently, of "Trillionaire Next Door: The Greedy Investor's Guide to Day Trading" and "Rationalizations to Live By". Comments by clicking here. Visit his website by clicking here.
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© 2002, Andy Borowitz