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Jewish World Review Jan. 21, 2002 / 8 Shevat, 5762
Andy Borowitz
http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com --
Fox News Channel's ace war correspondent had been conducting "man on the street" interviews in the Tora Bora region when the six-foot-five-inch bin Laden, wearing his trademark headdress, flowing robe, and graying beard, emerged from an al Qaeda cave complex. "Excuse me, sir, do you have any idea where Osama bin Laden is?" Geraldo asked bin Laden, who seemed momentarily thrown by the question before recovering his composure. "Nope, can't say that I have," bin Laden replied. "Hey, have you seen 'A Beautiful Mind?' It's the feel-good movie of the year." Geraldo continued to interview bin Laden, who was carrying an Adidas gym bag clearly labeled "OSAMA," for a full ten minutes before letting the evildoer go on his way. Later, when the taped interview was broadcast worldwide, viewers jammed the Fox News switchboard to point out that Geraldo had, in fact, been interviewing bin Laden without knowing it. Speaking from Somalia, where he is currently stationed, the pistol-packing journalist was unabashed about his ill-fated encounter with the al Qaeda honcho. "Osama, I let you off easy this time," Rivera said, with his customary bravado. "But next time I see you, man, you won't be so lucky." In related news, NATO leaders meeting in Bonn, Germany, have agreed on an interim hair color for MSNBC reporter Ashleigh Banfield. Banfield, whose hair has oscillated back and forth between dirty blonde and brunette as she has traveled between Afghanistan and the U.S., said she would comply with any decision the NATO representatives forged at the Bonn conference. After round-the-clock sessions, the NATO delegates arrived at the shade "tawny," a hair color widely available from Preference by L'Oreal.
Ms. Banfield's hair will be dyed tawny for the next six months, the Bonn resolution
indicated, until her hair situation can be stabilized, at which point a permanent hair
color will be
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