Jewish World Review March 11, 2002 / 27 Adar, 5762
Condit blows job interview with
Declares Most Questions 'Off Limits'
Gary A. Condit, no longer a congressman but seemingly still embattled, bombed out
in his first foray into the post-congressional job market today during a disastrous
interview for a video clerk's position at a Modesto, California Blockbuster Video
The interview reportedly got off to a poor start when Donny, the store manager,
asked Condit if he had ever worked in a video store before.
"Now, you know I'm not going to answer questions about that," Condit is reported to
Thrown off-balance by Condit's evasive response, the manager went on to the next
question on his list, which pertained to whether or not Condit had a car with which to
drive himself to work.
"I've been married thirty-four years," came Condit's puzzling answer. "I'm not a
perfect person. I've made my share of mistakes."
Donny, the store manager, called the encounter with Condit "spooky."
"No way would I hire that freak," he said. "He gave me a bad case of the willies."
Later that day, Condit reportedly had a job interview at a Modesto area Olive Garden
restaurant for an open dishwasher's poisition.
As in the case of Blockbuster, Condit's interview with the Olive Garden did not go
well at all, according to the restaurant manager, Karl, who conducted the interview.
"When you ask somebody if they've ever washed dishes before, you really don't
expect them to say, 'That's none of your damn business,'" Karl
JWR Contributor Andy Borowitz, a former president of the Harvard Lampoon, is a regular humor columnist for Newsweek.com, The New Yorker, The New York Times and TV Guide. Recognized by Esquire magazine as one of the most powerful producers in television, he was the creator and producer of the hit TV series The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and producer of the Oscar-nominated film Pleasantville. He is the author, most recently, of "Trillionaire Next Door: The Greedy Investor's Guide to Day Trading" and "Rationalizations to Live By". Comments by clicking here. Visit his website by clicking here.
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© 2002, Andy Borowitz