Jewish World Review April 30, 2002 /18 Iyar, 5762
Saudis increase production of bossy
foreign policy lectures
Plan to Become World's Leading Producers of Unsolicited Advice
Saudi Arabia has decided to step up production of bossy foreign policy lectures, with
the stated goal of becoming the world's leading producer of self-serving, unsolicited
advice by the end of the decade.
To reach their production goals, the Saudis are said to be counting on Crown Prince
Abdullah, who has proven capable of pumping out thousands of bossy foreign
policy lectures a week.
U.S. officials were astounded by the Crown Prince's ability to spew self-serving
rhetoric in a five-hour meeting last week with President Bush in Crawford, Texas, in
which the bossy lecture-producer reportedly could not keep his pie-hole shut.
But even though the Saudis seem confident of becoming the leading producers of
irritating foreign policy manifestos, they have competitors who are not likely to take
the Saudi challenge lying down: the French.
"Dictating arrogant and annoying foreign policy advice to the U.S. has long been a
point of pride for France," said Jacques Lemure, a French government spokesman.
M. Lemure says that the French government would not let such minor distractions
as the recent electoral triumph of a scary right-wing racist keep them from their
national mission of taking gratuitous shots at the U.S.
But the Saudis clearly intend to give the French a run for their money in the
If the Saudis meet their production quotas, experts say, by 2010 their annual output
of bossy foreign policy speeches may even eclipse their two other major exports,
petroleum and insane hijackers.
JWR Contributor Andy Borowitz, a former president of the Harvard Lampoon, is a regular humor columnist for Newsweek.com, The New Yorker, The New York Times and TV Guide. Recognized by Esquire magazine as one of the most powerful producers in television, he was the creator and producer of the hit TV series The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and producer of the Oscar-nominated film Pleasantville. He is the author, most recently, of "Trillionaire Next Door: The Greedy Investor's Guide to Day Trading" and "Rationalizations to Live By". Comments by clicking here. Visit his website by clicking here.
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© 2002, Andy Borowitz