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Jewish World Review April 22, 2002 /11 Iyar, 5762

Andy Borowitz

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Consumer Reports

O.J. calls Robert Blake murder case 'derivative'



Sets Stage for Intellectual Property Lawsuit

http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | Adding to actor Robert Blake's mounting legal woes, football great O.J. Simpson said today he would file an intellectual property lawsuit against Mr. Blake, alleging that the former "Baretta" star's murder case was "the most derivative crime of the century."

Mr. Simpson said that Mr. Blake had stolen certain "signature elements" from Simpson's notorious murder 1994 murder case without proper attribution, much in the manner of noted historians Steven Ambrose and Doris Kearns Goodwin.

"If there had been one or two surface similarities, I would have given him a free pass," Mr. Simpson told reporters. "But this is a clear case of intentional infringement."

With media insiders forecasting that revenues from the Blake murder trial could reach $8.6 billion, a successful lawsuit could mean a windfall for Mr. Simpson.

Possibly for that reason, Mr. Simpson said he would vigorously protect all distinctive elements of his headline-grabbing murder case from future infringement.

"If Blake attempts to escape in a white Bronco or blame the murder on Colombian drug lords, he'll be getting a call from my lawyers," Simpson said.

In contrast with Mr. Simpson's aggressive stance, a spokesman for the Colombia drug lords was more conciliatory, indicating that the drug lords would be open to playing a role in any flimsy alibi Mr. Blake might eventually concoct.

"The Colombian drug lords would be amenable to being blamed for this murder, so long as they are appropriately remunerated," said Sandy Stone of the Major People Agency, a prominent Hollywood talent agency that now represents the Colombian drug lords.

"The Colombian drug lords are also willing to pose naked for Playboy," Mr. Stone added.



JWR Contributor Andy Borowitz, a former president of the Harvard Lampoon, is a regular humor columnist for Newsweek.com, The New Yorker, The New York Times and TV Guide. Recognized by Esquire magazine as one of the most powerful producers in television, he was the creator and producer of the hit TV series The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and producer of the Oscar-nominated film Pleasantville. He is the author, most recently, of "Trillionaire Next Door: The Greedy Investor's Guide to Day Trading" and "Rationalizations to Live By". Comments by clicking here. Visit his website by clicking here.

Up

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© 2002, Andy Borowitz