Jewish World Review April 17, 2002 /6 Iyar, 5762
Segway creator invents 'round thingy'
Amazing New Invention Shrouded In Secrecy
Inventor Dean Kamen, who just six months ago created the Segway - a scooter
unlike any scooter the world had ever seen - has done it again, this time inventing a
"round thingy" that will revolutionize transportation.
Sources close to Kamen say that the round thingy - so shrouded in secrecy that it is
referred to in its patent filing only as "the round thingy" - could be attached by means
of an axel to other round thingies for use on cars, buses, trucks and other vehicles.
"When people see Dean's round thingy in action, it is absolutely going to rock their
world," one associate of Mr. Kamen said.
Critics of Mr. Kamen, however, were more skeptical of the Kamen camp's claims for
its amazing new round thingy.
"Dean Kamen isn't the only person in the world who's been trying to develop a
round thingy," said Dr. Louis Peverall of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology.
"The question is whether his round thingy will succeed where so many other round
thingies have failed."
Mr. Kamen, unfazed by the critics, is poised to unveil a series of other
groundbreaking inventions in addition to his astonishing round thingy.
His new inventions include a writing implement fabricated from a sharpened piece
of graphite encased in wood; an amazing lighting device that consists of an
electrified filament contained in an airtight glass bulb; and a handheld, gear-driven
kitchen tool for the "beating" of
JWR Contributor Andy Borowitz, a former president of the Harvard Lampoon, is a regular humor columnist for Newsweek.com, The New Yorker, The New York Times and TV Guide. Recognized by Esquire magazine as one of the most powerful producers in television, he was the creator and producer of the hit TV series The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and producer of the Oscar-nominated film Pleasantville. He is the author, most recently, of "Trillionaire Next Door: The Greedy Investor's Guide to Day Trading" and "Rationalizations to Live By". Comments by clicking here. Visit his website by clicking here.
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© 2002, Andy Borowitz