Jewish World Review March 5, 2004 / 12 Adar, 5764

Lori Borgman

Lori Borgman
JWR's Pundits
World Editorial
Cartoon Showcase

Mallard Fillmore

Michael Barone
Mona Charen
Linda Chavez
Ann Coulter
Greg Crosby
Larry Elder
Don Feder
Suzanne Fields
James Glassman
Paul Greenberg
Bob Greene
Betsy Hart
Nat Hentoff
David Horowitz
Arianna Huffington
Jeff Jacoby
Marianne Jennings
Michael Kelly
Mort Kondracke
Ch. Krauthammer
Lawrence Kudlow
Dr. Laura
John Leo
David Limbaugh
Michelle Malkin
Chris Matthews
Michael Medved
MUGGER
Kathleen Parker
Wes Pruden
Sam Schulman
Amity Shlaes
Roger Simon
Tony Snow
Thomas Sowell
Cal Thomas
Jonathan S. Tobin
Ben Wattenberg
George Will
Bruce Williams
Walter Williams
Mort Zuckerman

Consumer Reports


Sometimes wishes do come true, even for grown-ups

http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | Things that don't seem very fun when you're a kid, have a way of looking inviting once you're an adult. Take being sent to your room.


For the past week, I've been hoping someone would send me to my room. I have rudely interrupted others when talking, rolled my eyes at two of my kids and taken phone calls smack in the middle of dinner. you'd think somebody would have gotten annoyed and suggested I go to my room for some "You better think about it" time.


But no. Not a single, "knock it off." Not one solitary, "You better watch yourself, missy," or a "that'll be enough out of you." Haven't these people learned anything from me?


I'd love to be sent to my room, not just for the things that are in there - a television, a telephone, a half dozen magazines, four books and reading glasses - but for the things that are not. There's no vacuum cleaner in my room. There's no computer, stove, refrigerator, washer, dryer or ironing board.


Best of all, there's no car in my room. That means I couldn't pick anybody up, drop anybody off, swing by the dry cleaner, stop off at the grocery or dash to the mall.


Being sent to your room is an event completely wasted on kids. It's something only mature adults can fully appreciate.


There's something else wasted on kids. Naps. Kids hate naps. What kid hasn't tried to fake out a parent? I used to count to 20, put a little spit in the corner of my eyes and come out of my room stretching my arms like Rip van Winkle. If there had been an Anti-Nap Defense League, I would have given my Barbie doll's last pair of stiletto heels to join.


Naps can be enjoyable when you're an adult, but by then you're too old to admit you take them.


Hands down, the most fantastic thing that happens to you as a kid, that rarely happens to you as an adult, has to be snow days. Seeing your school's name scroll across the bottom of the television, hearing the DJ announce it on the radio, is your birthday, the circus, Christmas and a little brown pony rolled into one.

Donate to JWR


As an adult, you may stand around uncombed, unwashed and unhappy in your bathrobe waiting to see if maybe, just maybe, your company's name is going to crawl by on the television screen, but I can tell you now, it ain't gonna happen. Your kids may be delirious with excitement, doing back flips and bouncing off the walls, but not you. Nope. There's no justice. Hit the shower.


The most gentle delight of all, underappreciated by kids, is being tucked in at night. Having someone pull the covers up, chat with you, sing a song, kiss your cheek, turn out the lights and close the door, is beyond nice. When you can finally appreciate that as a luxury, you're so old that your bedtime routine consists of unloading the dishwasher, taking out the trash, folding a load of towels, paying a few bills, seeing that the front door is locked and that the cars are in the garage.


This is not to say that kids get all the breaks. Sometimes wishes do come true, even for grown-ups. Just last night, I faintly heard a voice say, "Mom, maybe you should go to your room." I had fallen asleep on the couch.

Enjoy this writer's work? Why not sign-up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.


JWR contributor Lori Borgman is the author of I Was a Better Mother Before I Had Kids and "Pass the Faith, Please" (Click HERE to purchase. Sales help fund JWR.). To comment, please click here. To visit her website click here.

02/27/04: Family there to give Mom the business
02/06/04: Chance for big money slips through her fingers
01/30/04: Profanity brings out the f-word (fury)
01/23/04: Lots of labels in this union
01/16/04: Cheap eats in college? Use your noodle
01/02/04: 2003 boasted a cast of colorful characters
12/19/03: Hours at the stove, moments at the table
12/12/03: The way they dress, "boxers or briefs?" isn't a question
12/05/03: Hey, hey, we're the monkeys (or close enough)
11/26/03: Hardship? We don't know the meaning
11/21/03: Good kids! Wonder who raised them
11/14/03: Safety first, even when danger has passed
10/24/03: NFL fan learns to handle heightened sensations
10/03/03: Chipping away at misunderstood lists
09/26/03: Boundaries disappear, society pays the price
09/19/03: Easy (bike) rider
09/12/03: Got Mom?
09/05/03: S'Mores Maker threatens all we hold dear (and gooey)
07/25/03: Private journals, public records
07/25/03: Star appears bright-eyed, bushy-tailed
07/18/03: Girls pool talents for commercial success
07/11/03: Summer; the living is easy
07/03/03: Terrible twos make terrific workout
06/27/03: Emergency a matter of definition
06/13/03: A Father's Day roast for Mother Goose
06/05/03: Good examples of bad parenting
05/23/03: Faulty equations on the love calculator
05/16/03: Busted for Oreos!
05/09/03: Mom plus shipping equals excitement
05/02/03: Mom shudders at thought of the m-a-l-l
04/21/03: Mother Confessions
04/11/03: Husband snoring: Hit or mist
04/04/03: Flip flops hashed at the lunch table
03/28/03: Bare facts on protesters
03/21/03: Madonna: Like an Author
03/17/03: Mom develops rapport with son's answering machine
03/07/03: The call for courage
02/28/03: My relationship with Mister Rogers
01/31/03: Mom pushes memories out the door
01/24/03: Picture this! Human 'beans'
01/10/03: Password, please!
12/31/02: Who it was a good year for
12/06/02: Radio show guarantees family-size audience
12/02/02: High-seas adventure would enlist few takers today
11/15/02: Frozen turkey makes cook chicken out
11/15/02: What's going on with "going out?"
11/01/02: The crazy mind of middle-age
10/25/02: Relationship rooted in willow talk
10/18/02: The challenge of being spontaneous
10/11/02: No wheels, no keys, no problem?
10/04/02: Lessons of a childhood survivor --- my children's
09/20/02: "Cutting the Cord" to the Tube
09/13/02: Over there
08/30/02: The Last One Left
08/23/02: Rare sighting made on the patio
08/16/02: Kids get reality paycheck
08/08/02: We look like this . . . no, Kidman!
08/02/02: We should be a nation of 'nuts'!
07/26/02: Hold your applause --- please!
07/19/02: Greed and Mints on the Pillows
07/12/02: Remodeling: Blueprint for Disaster
07/08/02: The Botox wrinkle
06/28/02: One perfect day
06/21/02: Flush with excitement
06/14/02: The Ways a Father Says "I Love You"
06/07/02: Garage Sale Treasures
05/31/02: No Pudgy Hour at the gym
05/19/02: Ozzy, if you come for dinner, bring change
05/19/02: Instant Messaging and LOL
05/10/02: Some mothers get something more
05/03/02: I Nudge, Therefore I Am
04/25/02: Motherhood is seasonal work
04/19/02: Paper trail to college
04/12/02: What to cook or not to cook
03/31/02: Mom and Dad Break Curfew
03/22/02: Introducing P.P.M. (Partners Per Month)
03/15/02: Birth of a Pothole
03/08/02: When Enron Momma gets mad
03/01/02: Little hope for bookaholic
02/22/02: Wrestling with prejudice
02/15/02: Say What?
02/08/02: Kitchen intelligence
02/01/02: Age-old words
01/25/02: Abortion: Switching Sides
01/18/02: Kids, take note
01/11/02: The heart-stopper e-mail
01/04/02: The slightly sunny side of 2001
12/28/01: The Way Things Work
11/30/01: The Leftover Shuffle begins
11/27/01: Glasses bring age into focus
11/16/01: A different portion of Thanks
11/09/01: The Next Stage of Parenting
11/01/01: Of boys and patriotism
10/26/01: College Son the Invisible Man
10/19/01: Out of the closet ... and into the school
10/12/01: A Parent's Guide to Dating
10/05/01: "Taking Care of You"
09/28/01: Time indivisible
09/24/01: Refueling capitalism
09/14/01: A time to mourn
09/07/01: Lack of modesty stirs the troops
08/31/01: Scholarship search an education
08/24/01: The test for parents
08/17/01: Immodest proposals
08/10/01: Trying to R-r-r-re-re-relax
08/03/01: It may be shabby and chic, but it ain't cheap
07/20/01: Bride showered with sage advice
07/13/01: Baby Bear Finds Driving "Just Right"
07/06/01: Pale at the Thought of Bronze
06/29/01: A Dog's Best Friend
06/22/01: Rethinking fatherhood
06/14/01 Don't forget to lock the door
06/07/01 How grandma punishes her kids
06/01/01 Hearing voices
05/25/01 Cyborgs for Better or Worse
05/18/01 The death of Common Sense

© 2001, Lori Borgman