Jewish World Review Nov. 16, 2001 / 1 Kislev, 5762

Lori Borgman

Lori Borgman
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Consumer Reports


A different portion of Thanks

http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com -- THE traditional turkey and all the trimmings will be served Norman Rockwell style. There will be the customary pre-feast scuffle in the kitchen as two grown adults wrestle a large, unwieldy leaf into a stubborn oak table. A football game will drone away on the television, and with precise predictability, Uncle Bob will whip out the Scrabble board minutes after the last pie plate has been washed, dried and returned to the cupboard.

Yet, despite the many time-honored traditions, Thanksgiving will be different this year. For roughly five thousand grieving families, this will be the first Thanksgiving table with an empty chair. A husband or wife, mom or dad, son or daughter, will be missing from the holiday gathering.

Somewhere a mini-van will pull into a Grandma's driveway. She'll count heads as they pile out of the vehicle and a deep emptiness will bounce to the surface as she is once again reminded that one of her flock is forever gone. Adults will gather in quiet corners to measure the heartache, remember a shattering phone call or recall a memorial service. Young women like Lisa Beamer will hold children close and reminisce about good times with a terrific father who died too soon.

For others, a chair will be empty because a family member proudly wears a military uniform. These loved ones will celebrate Thanksgiving halfway around the world, with shipmates at sea, or armed forces on foreign soil.

Even in homes where all the chairs are full, Thanksgiving will be different. Emergency workers, law enforcement personnel and members of the media, will wear pagers and cell phones strapped to their sides like John Wayne six-shooters.

Embraces will be tighter and last a few seconds longer. Prayers will be heartfelt, passionate and sincere. No restless feet tapping beneath the table, or wandering eyes peeking to see if the steam is still rolling off the mashed potatoes.

This year, Thanksgiving boldly stands as a tangible link to the past. The Pilgrim's celebrated Thanksgiving after a year of devastating hardship, suffering and death. George Washington declared an official day of thanksgiving after the bloody birth of freedom and the adoption of the Constitution. President Madison declared a day of thanksgiving after the War of 1812. President Lincoln proclaimed an annual day of thanks at the end of the Civil War. Thanksgiving is a reminder that counting God's blessings on the heels of suffering is the best way to exercise that muscle called faith.

This year, Thanksgiving will serve as a notary seal affirming truths that became crystal clear in the days following September 11: Family is more important than work. Faith is a necessity, not an accessory. Money can't buy the things that matter most. Heroes aren't Hollywood's pretty people pretending to be other people, but ordinary people who do extraordinary things in the face of danger and fear.

This year, Thanksgiving provides us the opportunity to stand united. We've given thanks privately, individually, but there's something wondrous and marvelous knowing that from east to west and north to south, Americans will give thanks on one day in one voice. E pluribus unum.

Yes, Thanksgiving is different this year. Mingled among the familiar scents and sounds is an unspoken and acute awareness that each day of life dawns by the sheer mercy and grace of G-d. There's a new clarity of vision, an intensity behind the gratitude.

Turn the board my way, Bob. I have an f-u-l to add to that t-h-a-n-k.


JWR contributor Lori Borgman is the author of I Was a Better Mother Before I Had Kids. To comment, please click here.

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© 2001, Lori Borgman