Jewish World Review Dec. 28, 2001 / 13 Teves, 5762
Debra J. Saunders
What I'd like to see in 2002
THESE ARE a few things I'd like to see in 2002.
-- The Marin parents of John Walker actually refer
to their 20-year-old al Qaeda-graduate son as an
-- Osama bin Laden is caught trying to sneak out of
Afghanistan in a burqa; Al Jazeera broadcasts video
of bin Laden trying to shield himself behind his
-- The Pentagon dumps its directive ordering female
military personnel in Saudi Arabia to wear an abaya
(veil) when off base.
-- Actress Angelina Jolie appears in a movie in
which she actually closes her mouth.
-- Former Symbionese Liberation Army activist
Sara Jane Olson finds herself behind bars after
being on the lam for some 26 years for her role in
the attempted bombing of two L.A. police cars.
After recognizing that it's time to take responsibility
for her actions, she owns up to her guilty plea.
-- Marc Rich -- remember the fugitive billionaire
pardoned by President Clinton? -- officially
renounces his U.S. citizenship and decides to stay in
Switzerland. Rich, however, does offer to fund the
PR effort to boost America's view of the "Clinton
-- United Airlines improves its poor labor relations
record and goes a year without slowdowns or
-- The Berkeley City Council passes a resolution
banning stupid, gratuitous resolutions. After much
debate, the council rewrites the measure to suggest
that all resolutions actually be resolutions -- then
members applaud themselves for their courage.
-- The French government tells the United States:
Go ahead, execute Zacarias Moussaoui if he's guilty
-- O.J. finds the real killer. Oops, that means he has
to turn himself in.
-- Gov. Gray Davis decides that he has spent too
much time raising campaign money -- at a clip of $1
million a month -- and devotes himself to working
with the state Legislature.
-- Former L.A. Mayor Dick Riordan -- who is one
of three Republicans running against Davis for
governor -- does not donate money to the Davis re-
-- Some 15 years after Loma Prieta, construction
for a new Eastern span of the Bay Bridge actually
-- Other news media stop accusing the Fox News
Channel of bias -- and instead look at their own
-- The National Organization for Women does not
leap to the defense of the next white, middle-class
mother who kills her children.
-- Carolyn Condit throws out her husband Gary --
before he fails to be re- elected.
-- Harry Potter and "Lord of the Rings" books
prompt preteens to read more books and watch
-- Abercrombie & Fitch feels heat from parents
who choose to boycott the store until it changes its
marketing and A&F releases a quarterly quasi-
catalog in which everyone is clothed.
-- University of California chancellors decide to
concentrate on academic excellence, not political
-- Top Enron executives offer to support those
retirees who lost most of their retirement savings
when the company filed for bankruptcy.
-- Americans become skeptical of doomsday
predictions about the theoretical threats of global
warming and genetically modified foods.
-- The quest for energy independence prompts
American consumers to turn away from gas-guzzling
cars; their new vehicles yield better gas mileage than
the federally mandated fleet average.
And, in that spirit, Sen. Dianne Feinstein decides to
do more than propose tougher federal legislation.
She sells her
Comment JWR contributor Debra J. Saunders's column by clicking here.
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01/10/01: Dems' reasons for dissin' Dubya's picks
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12/15/00: You can take the 24 years, good son
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© 2000, Creators Syndicate