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Jewish World Review Dec. 28, 2001 / 13 Teves, 5762

Debra J. Saunders

Debra J. Saunders
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Consumer Reports

What I'd like to see in 2002

http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com -- THESE ARE a few things I'd like to see in 2002.

-- The Marin parents of John Walker actually refer to their 20-year-old al Qaeda-graduate son as an adult.

-- Osama bin Laden is caught trying to sneak out of Afghanistan in a burqa; Al Jazeera broadcasts video of bin Laden trying to shield himself behind his wives.

-- The Pentagon dumps its directive ordering female military personnel in Saudi Arabia to wear an abaya (veil) when off base.

-- Actress Angelina Jolie appears in a movie in which she actually closes her mouth.

-- Former Symbionese Liberation Army activist Sara Jane Olson finds herself behind bars after being on the lam for some 26 years for her role in the attempted bombing of two L.A. police cars. After recognizing that it's time to take responsibility for her actions, she owns up to her guilty plea.

-- Marc Rich -- remember the fugitive billionaire pardoned by President Clinton? -- officially renounces his U.S. citizenship and decides to stay in Switzerland. Rich, however, does offer to fund the PR effort to boost America's view of the "Clinton legacy."

-- United Airlines improves its poor labor relations record and goes a year without slowdowns or strikes.

-- The Berkeley City Council passes a resolution banning stupid, gratuitous resolutions. After much debate, the council rewrites the measure to suggest that all resolutions actually be resolutions -- then members applaud themselves for their courage.

-- The French government tells the United States: Go ahead, execute Zacarias Moussaoui if he's guilty of terrorism.

-- O.J. finds the real killer. Oops, that means he has to turn himself in.

-- Gov. Gray Davis decides that he has spent too much time raising campaign money -- at a clip of $1 million a month -- and devotes himself to working with the state Legislature.

-- Former L.A. Mayor Dick Riordan -- who is one of three Republicans running against Davis for governor -- does not donate money to the Davis re- election campaign.

-- Some 15 years after Loma Prieta, construction for a new Eastern span of the Bay Bridge actually begins.

-- Other news media stop accusing the Fox News Channel of bias -- and instead look at their own operations.

-- The National Organization for Women does not leap to the defense of the next white, middle-class mother who kills her children.

-- Carolyn Condit throws out her husband Gary -- before he fails to be re- elected.

-- Harry Potter and "Lord of the Rings" books prompt preteens to read more books and watch less television.

-- Abercrombie & Fitch feels heat from parents who choose to boycott the store until it changes its marketing and A&F releases a quarterly quasi- catalog in which everyone is clothed.

-- University of California chancellors decide to concentrate on academic excellence, not political correctness.

-- Top Enron executives offer to support those retirees who lost most of their retirement savings when the company filed for bankruptcy.

-- Americans become skeptical of doomsday predictions about the theoretical threats of global warming and genetically modified foods.

-- The quest for energy independence prompts American consumers to turn away from gas-guzzling cars; their new vehicles yield better gas mileage than the federally mandated fleet average.

And, in that spirit, Sen. Dianne Feinstein decides to do more than propose tougher federal legislation. She sells her SUVs.


Comment JWR contributor Debra J. Saunders's column by clicking here.


Up


12/24/01: Don't heckle ink monopolists
12/21/01: Mumia finds safety in numbers
12/19/01 The self-help PBS shopping network
12/17/01 Caught on tape
12/14/01 Know when to hold 'em
12/10/01 Old friends
12/06/01 I read the news today, oh boy
12/03/01 It's not cricket
11/28/01 Admissions and omissions
11/26/01 Guns and abayas
11/21/01 Depraved minds think alike
11/19/01 Guilty, a la carte
11/14/01 Interpreting the entrails of Election 2000
11/12/01 Life and liberty
11/09/01 Safety is as safety does
11/07/01 More hot air on global warming
11/05/01 Bumped Pakistani's molehill
11/01/01 Freedom snuffed out
10/29/01 Give war a chance
10/26/01 Airline bill needs liftoff
10/22/01 The Riordan Principle
10/19/01 Before America gets tired of the war on terrorism
10/17/01 Patriot games
10/15/01 I was a 'McCainiac,' and I have seen the light
10/12/01 University of Censorship's fall semester
10/11/01 Poor little rich boy, Osama
10/07/01 Don't feed Israel to the beast
10/05/01: bin Laden is not our Frankenstein monster
10/04/01: Where no man has gone before
09/26/01: Who's bloodthirsty?
09/26/01: What's to understand?
09/20/01: Barbara Lee's line in the sand
09/14/01: You gotta love this country
09/13/01: ENTER TERROR
09/11/01: You can't clone ethics
09/06/01: NOW's goal: equal rights for women without equal responsibility
08/30/01: What's love got to do with it?
08/24/01: A clean, well-lighted place for junkies
08/20/01: Bush should stand up for justice
08/08/01: Don't give Peace (Dept). a chance
08/03/01: Lose a kid, pass a law
08/01/01: Welcome to France, killers
07/30/01: Why it's easy being green (in Europe)
07/26/01: If disabled means expendable
07/23/01: Condit should not resign
07/18/01: Feinstein should learn her limit
07/16/01: A drought of common sense
07/13/01: The catalog has no clothes
07/05/01: It's Bush against the planet
07/03/01: The man who would be guv
06/29/01: Wheeled, wired and free
06/27/01: O, fearful new world
06/25/01: End HMO horrors
06/21/01: Either they're dishonest or clueless
06/18/01: Freedom is a puff of smoke
06/15/01: In praise of going heavy: Yes, you can take it all
06/13/01: McVeigh: 'Unbowed' maybe, but dead for sure
06/11/01: Gumby strikes back
06/08/01: Los Angeles' last white mayor?
06/07/01: Kids will be kids, media will be media
06/04/01: Draw a line in the sand
05/30/01: Just don't call him a moderate
05/29/01: Operation: Beat up on civil rights
05/24/01: Of puppies, kittens and huge credit-card debts
05/22/01: Bush needs an energy tinkerbell
05/18/01: Divided we stand, united they fall
05/16/01: Big Bench backs might over right
05/15/01: Close SUV loophole
05/11/01: Kill the test, welcome failure
05/09/01: DA mayor's disappointing legacy
05/07/01: If it ain't broken ...
05/03/01: They shoot civilians, don't they?
04/30/01: Executions are not for prime time
04/12/01: White House and the green myth
04/10/01: The perjurer as celeb
04/04/01: Bush bashers don't know squat
04/02/01: Drugging our oldsters
03/30/01: Robert Lee Massie exercises his death wish
03/28/01: Cheney's nuclear reactor
03/26/01: Where California and Mexico meet
03/16/01: Boy's sentence was no accident
03/14/01: Soft money, hard reform
03/12/01: Banks, big credit lines and consumer bankruptcy
03/09/01: Free speech dies in Berkeley
03/02/01: When rats have rights
02/28/01: Move a frog, go to jail?
02/26/01: They knew they'd get away with it
02/20/01: How Dems define tax fairness
02/16/01: The jackpot casino Carmel tribe?
02/14/01: You can fight school success
02/12/01: Hannibal -- with guts this time
02/08/01: A family of jailbirds
02/05/01: Reality's most demeaning TV moments
02/01/01: Justice for the non-Rich
01/26/01: Hail to the chiefs of D.C. opinion
01/24/01: A day of mud and monuments
01/22/01: Diversity, division, de-lovely D.C.
01/19/01: Parties agree: Give back the money
01/17/01: Get tough with the oil companies, or forget pumping more Alaskan crude
01/15/01: Mineta better pray that no attending confirmation senator has ever driven to San Jose during rush hour
01/12/01: Europeans should look in the mirror
01/10/01: Dems' reasons for dissin' Dubya's picks
01/08/01: Jerry, curb your guru
01/03/01: A foe of Hitler and friend of Keating
12/28/00: Nice people think nice thoughts
12/26/00: The Clinton years: Epilogue
12/21/00: 'Tis the season to free nonviolent drug offenders 12/18/00: A golden opportunity is squandered
12/15/00: You can take the 24 years, good son
12/13/00: Court of law vs. court of public opinion
12/08/00: A salvo in the war on the war on drugs
12/06/00: Don't cry, Butterfly: Big trees make great decks
12/04/00: Florida: Don't do as Romans did
11/30/00: Special City's hotel parking ticket
11/27/00: No means yes, yes means more than yes
11/22/00: The bench, the ballot and fairness
11/20/00: Mendocino, how green is your ballot?

© 2000, Creators Syndicate