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Jewish World Review Dec. 26, 2000 / 29 Kislev, 5761

Ann Coulter

Ann Coulter
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Consumer Reports

Gore, him and her -- WHATEVER you can say about any problems the Republicans are facing with the Clinton recession as they assume apparent control of all three branches of government (a sham on account of the high incidence of Republican turncoats with no corresponding Democratic turncoats), at least the Republican Party is not besieged by a triangle of egos now fighting for attention in the Democratic Party.

A three-way battle royale is brewing among the delusional vice president, the Hustler president and the aspiring yuppie scum "Hillary!" Each one of these three luminaries thinks he is entitled to be king of the universe.

With the media's willingness to flack for these egotists, things could get out of control. Even in the Democrats' consequence-free environment, there's only so much the sound chamber of liberal media can do to disguise these repugnant personalities. Their massive egos suck all oxygen out of the room. And none of them will shut up.

Poor Al Gore, with his threadbare Tennessee existence, thinks he should be the leader of the opposition. The press wanly tries to keep Gore alive, issuing polite little news reports as if he were still relevant, but he's becoming the fastest disappearing act since the Cheshire Cat.

Somehow a rumor got started that Harvard University was considering hiring Gore to be president of the university, which was always about as likely as Harvard hiring me as its president, except I made it farther in graduate school than Gore did.

It was a ridiculous notion -- not least of all to Harvard, which quickly dampened the rumors, explaining that Gore did not have the requisite "academic and intellectual standing." One wondered how such an absurd rumor could have gotten started in the first place. Let's see: Who has a habit of making stuff up that inures to his greater glory?

In any event, Gore's impotent efforts to have his political future taken seriously are being drowned out by the massive egos in the White House. That competition is really heating up about now. Bill and Hillary haven't even taken notice of Gore's pretensions to be recognized as leader of the opposition. While Bill thinks he's the star, Hillary thinks she wears the pink pants suit now. And she has more money.

More than getting his people in the Democratic National Committee, and more even than getting his next intern, Bill is embarking on the fight of his life: He must top Hillary's book advance. In a few years, he'll be running against Hillary for senator from New York.

What else can he do? The man is unfit for a job or creating work product. Apart from politics, all he is suited for is following washed-up celebrity greeters on Norwegian cruise ships. Or Vegas, maybe. Assuming they could take the pathetic, leering spectacle of the man.

But having saved the Constitution by creating the need for an impeachment and then fighting it, and having concluded his illustrious presidency by setting the country on a path to recession, Bill has grand plans for himself. He wants to guide the Democratic Party to greater acts of duty and sacrifice.

Clinton has thrown off Gore's people from the Democratic National Committee and replaced them with his own. He has made known that he plans an energetic and influential role in the party. This guy thinks he's Churchill.

While I'm all for the idea of an indelible connection between Bill Clinton and the Democratic Party, many Democrats are less enthusiastic. Reacting to reports that Clinton is jockeying for position as leader of the opposition, The New York Times pleaded for "Elvis" to "leave the building," amid delicate references to "Mr. Clinton's personal baggage."

The media may have overdone that business about Clinton's gargantuan popularity. Despite the best economy any political party has ever been blessed with, Clinton's vice president lost an election that should have been a landslide for any incumbent. A weird personality doesn't explain that.

The demonstrably false report of Clinton's vast unsinkable popularity -- wilder and more intense with every felony he was shown to have committed -- was for consumption by the hoi polloi only. But to everyone's surprise, the only person in America who believes it is Bill Clinton.

Meanwhile, despite the Clinton recession, Hil is out on a wild spending spree, dashing from mansion to mansion to cash in on her years of devoted service to the public. Her political contribution has been to firmly establish the Democratic Party as the party of garish consumption. Forget the analogies to Gingrich -- he was a little bit out of control, but at least he didn't want to hang out with movie stars. Senator Hillary (D-Vanity Fair) is trying to bring back the Roman Empire.

Even liberal media can't paper over this battle of egos.

JWR contributor Ann Coulter is the author of High Crimes and Misdemeanors: The Case Against Bill Clinton. You may visit the Ann Coulter Fan Club by clicking here.


12/21/00: Channeling Jackie O
12/14/00: My Court is bigger than your Court
12/11/00: HANG IN THERE, AL!
12/07/00: National Lampoon's Florida Supreme Court Vacation
12/04/00: It's past time for GOPers to quit being good at losing
11/30/00: Things only a Dem will say with a straight face
11/27/00: Certify the electors, then the judges
11/23/00: Kangaroo coup
11/20/00: This is what the Electoral College is supposed to prevent
11/16/00: The liar next time
11/09/00: JUST GO!
11/06/00: Hail Mary past
11/02/00: As the nose grows: The scripture according to Gore
10/30/00: Clinton sure can pick 'em
10/26/00: Gore's 'Nam flashbacks
10/23/00: Courting George Orwell
10/20/00: The three faces of Al
10/17/00: Must Christian conservatives be fascists?
10/13/00: Oil good; Dems bad
10/10/00: Al Gore: Serial fibber
10/06/00: Sigh of the crook
10/03/00: So who's the 'dumb guy' now?
09/29/00: Don't do drug legalization
09/26/00: I'd burn down my neighbor's house
09/22/00: Democrats worship the money shot
09/19/00: Other film footage we'd like to see
09/15/00: Bush can name the **^%*
09/12/00: The Supreme Court ratchet
09/08/00: Our mistake -- keep polluting
09/05/00: Bubba protects and serves
09/01/00: AlGore's 'going out of business!' tax plan
08/29/00: Bush's compassionate conservatism
08/25/00: Space alien tells funny jokes in bathtub
08/22/00: Dems view world only in black and white, not in color
08/18/00: Another Damascus Road conversion
08/15/00: The viagra cotillion
08/11/00: The hand-wringing Hamlet from Hartford
08/07/00: The Democratic party's white face
08/04/00: Hillary's potty mouth
08/01/00: The hole in the story
07/28/00: Cheney's detractors can't get their story straight
07/25/00: AlGore: Elmer Blandry
07/21/00: The tyranny of non-objectivity
07/18/00: The state's religion
07/14/00: Reform it back
07/11/00: Keating for veep
07/07/00: Gore invented 'Clueless'
07/04/00: The stupidity litmus test
06/30/00: O.J. was 'proved innocent' too
06/27/00: The last guys 'proved innocent'
06/23/00: Serious Republican candidates don't get serious press
06/19/00: They weren't overzealous this time
06/16/00: Evolution of the strumpet
06/13/00: Actual journalistic malpractice
06/09/00: I did not have sexual
relations with that ... man!
06/06/00: IRS turns Bubba's screw
05/30/00: Too corrupt to be an Arkansas lawyer
05/26/00: Choose liberalism
05/24/00: Violence against coherence
05/22/00: Developmentally disabled Republicans
05/16/00: For womb the bell tolls
05/12/00: Asylum from Georgetown
05/10/00: The truth is out there, even for the clueless
05/08/00: Barbie is a liberal Democrat
05/02/00: Moving the goalpost
04/28/00: The bastardization of justice
04/25/00: How Monica Lewinsky saved the constitution
04/24/00: It's sunny today, so we need gun control
04/19/00: No shadow of a doubt -- liberal women are worthless
04/14/00: It takes a Communist dictator to raise a child
04/11/00: The verdict is in on Hillary
04/07/00: Vast Concoctions III
04/04/00: 'Horrifying' free speech in New York
03/31/00: Check-Off Box For Pimp Suits
03/28/00: All the news that fits -- we print!
03/24/00: Net losses all around
03/20/00: To protect, serve --- and be spat on
03/16/00: Thank Heaven for the consigliere
03/13/00: Vast concoctions II
03/09/00: The bluebloods voted against you
03/07/00: The Tower of Babble
03/03/00: Vast concoction
03/02/00: Hillary's sartorial lies
02/28/00: You have to break a few eggs to make a joke
02/22/00: I've seen enough killing to support abortion
02/18/00: A liberal lynching
02/15/00: McCain and the flag
02/11/00: The Shakedown Express
02/08/00: To mock a mockingbird
02/05/00: Summing up Campaign 2000: 'Oh, puh-leeze!'
02/01/00: A Confederacy of Dunces
01/28/00: Dollar Bill's racist smear
01/24/00: How high is your freedom quotient?
01/21/00: Numismadness
01/18/00: How dare you attack my wife!
01/14/00: The Gore Buggernaut
01/10/00: The paradox of discrimination law

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