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Jewish World Review March 15, 2001 / 20 Adar, 5761

Ann Coulter

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Consumer Reports

The liar is gone but
the lying continues -- IT seems President George Bush has imposed an innovative series of workplace rules at the White House. Staffers have been instructed to be on time, practice common courtesy and dress appropriately. (This probably spells an end to the crack pipes on the White House Christmas tree, too.)

President Clinton's economic adviser Gene Sperling dismissed the adult environment at the Bush White House as the serendipity of having a budget surplus. He explained that the endless all-night jam sessions with panty-less women was the result of "how dramatically different it was to be in a time of deficits." (The connection between having to make important decisions and creating an environment in which it was impossible to make important decisions remains a bit murky.)

By contrast, the Clinton administration had to suffer: "We literally had to present Clinton with scores of potential cuts which could even cost members of Congress or the president himself an election."

What were those programs again? Clinton's big initiatives during his first year in office consisted of: (1) trying to socialize the nation's health care, and (2) attempting to turn the U.S. armed forces into a homosexual focus group. It took Newt Gingrich and the Republicans coming to power to give Americans a puny tax cut.

But in those first few years when he was working with his own party, Clinton raised taxes and created new government programs. No wonder it took interminable hippie jam sessions to put together a budget. Clinton had to figure out precisely how much of a lie his campaign promise of a "middle class tax cut" was going to be.

In addition to having cleared out the pizza boxes, women's panties and plastic cups littering the White House, the calming wind of the Bush administration has created genuine "new Democrats" -- Democrats with a passion for fiscal austerity. As a theoretical matter, they are all for a tax cut. But alas, they are slaves to a balanced budget, and "we" just can't "afford" it right now.

They are, of course, lying. They want our "muffler money" to protect the revenue flow for their useless federal programs.

But the point is: They don't say that. Polls must be telling Democrats they can't support taxes by appealing to Americans' love of government programs anymore. Their current propaganda proves that wonderful government programs aren't selling. Even the Democrats' class-envy demagoguery has lost steam. People hear that the Bush tax cut will give "the rich" a hundred kazillion dollars back, and the average cluck will only get $200 back -- and they think: "OK, gimme my $200."

Consequently, Democrats are left having to hoodwink stupid Republicans (or Maine senators) and the broader public by insisting they can't sleep at night thinking about the debt. Just as abortion-loving Democrats maintain that no one is in favor of abortion, they now claim they also want to make taxes safe, legal and rare. They really do. They just want to balance the budget "first."

One of their ingenious devices for making abortion "rare" was to support a procedure that involves suctioning the brains out of a half-born baby. This is pretty much how their fiscal austerity plan would work, too. Gee, one crackerjack method of making something "rare" is to throw people in prison if they do it. (Why do they want to make abortion "rare" anyway? Is it a little bit of a murder?) And one way to balance the budget is to stop spending money like drunken sailors.

But somehow Democrats and Maine Republicans never get around to the spending part of their fiscal austerity plan. All we know is that it's going to require a lot of taxes. If their mania for a balanced budget is so all-consuming, why can't they ever tell us which useless government bureaucracies they intend to stop lavishing money on?

Any politician who cannot agree with the proposition that no American should send more than a third of what he earns to the federal government ought to be able to say how much -- ideally -- the government should be taking. How about 40 percent? Is that just right? When will we have attained the perfect tax nirvana according to the Democratic Party?

When Reagan was elected, this country had 80 percent marginal tax rates. That barbarism was expunged a mere 18 years ago -- and no thanks to the Democrats. It is a more astonishing fact that 18 years ago the marginal tax rate in the United States of America was 80 percent than that lobotomies were an accepted medical practice a couple decades back.

Get your mufflers now -- before Democrats figure out a way to make taxes any more "rare."

JWR contributor Ann Coulter is the author of High Crimes and Misdemeanors: The Case Against Bill Clinton. You may visit the Ann Coulter Fan Club by clicking here.


03/08/01: More facts, fewer liberals
03/01/01: Mary Jo White-wash
02/22/01: How to talk to a liberal
02/15/01: Bill Clinton does the Harlem shuffle
02/08/01: Eight more Clarence Thomases
02/01/01: This just in: Price controls cause shortages
01/25/01: People United for Swindles and Hucksterism
01/18/01: Ashcroft and the blowhard discuss desegregation
01/04/01: Liberal pimps for Clintonism
01/02/01: Kwanzaa: Holiday from the FBI
12/28/00: If Americans support abortion, let's vote
12/26/00: Gore, him and her
12/21/00: Channeling Jackie O
12/14/00: My Court is bigger than your Court
12/11/00: HANG IN THERE, AL!
12/07/00: National Lampoon's Florida Supreme Court Vacation
12/04/00: It's past time for GOPers to quit being good at losing
11/30/00: Things only a Dem will say with a straight face
11/27/00: Certify the electors, then the judges
11/23/00: Kangaroo coup
11/20/00: This is what the Electoral College is supposed to prevent
11/16/00: The liar next time
11/09/00: JUST GO!
11/06/00: Hail Mary past
11/02/00: As the nose grows: The scripture according to Gore
10/30/00: Clinton sure can pick 'em
10/26/00: Gore's 'Nam flashbacks
10/23/00: Courting George Orwell
10/20/00: The three faces of Al
10/17/00: Must Christian conservatives be fascists?
10/13/00: Oil good; Dems bad
10/10/00: Al Gore: Serial fibber
10/06/00: Sigh of the crook
10/03/00: So who's the 'dumb guy' now?
09/29/00: Don't do drug legalization
09/26/00: I'd burn down my neighbor's house
09/22/00: Democrats worship the money shot
09/19/00: Other film footage we'd like to see
09/15/00: Bush can name the **^%*
09/12/00: The Supreme Court ratchet
09/08/00: Our mistake -- keep polluting
09/05/00: Bubba protects and serves
09/01/00: AlGore's 'going out of business!' tax plan
08/29/00: Bush's compassionate conservatism
08/25/00: Space alien tells funny jokes in bathtub
08/22/00: Dems view world only in black and white, not in color
08/18/00: Another Damascus Road conversion
08/15/00: The viagra cotillion
08/11/00: The hand-wringing Hamlet from Hartford
08/07/00: The Democratic party's white face
08/04/00: Hillary's potty mouth
08/01/00: The hole in the story
07/28/00: Cheney's detractors can't get their story straight
07/25/00: AlGore: Elmer Blandry
07/21/00: The tyranny of non-objectivity
07/18/00: The state's religion
07/14/00: Reform it back
07/11/00: Keating for veep
07/07/00: Gore invented 'Clueless'
07/04/00: The stupidity litmus test
06/30/00: O.J. was 'proved innocent' too
06/27/00: The last guys 'proved innocent'
06/23/00: Serious Republican candidates don't get serious press
06/19/00: They weren't overzealous this time
06/16/00: Evolution of the strumpet
06/13/00: Actual journalistic malpractice
06/09/00: I did not have sexual
relations with that ... man!
06/06/00: IRS turns Bubba's screw
05/30/00: Too corrupt to be an Arkansas lawyer
05/26/00: Choose liberalism
05/24/00: Violence against coherence
05/22/00: Developmentally disabled Republicans
05/16/00: For womb the bell tolls
05/12/00: Asylum from Georgetown
05/10/00: The truth is out there, even for the clueless
05/08/00: Barbie is a liberal Democrat
05/02/00: Moving the goalpost
04/28/00: The bastardization of justice
04/25/00: How Monica Lewinsky saved the constitution
04/24/00: It's sunny today, so we need gun control
04/19/00: No shadow of a doubt -- liberal women are worthless
04/14/00: It takes a Communist dictator to raise a child
04/11/00: The verdict is in on Hillary
04/07/00: Vast Concoctions III
04/04/00: 'Horrifying' free speech in New York
03/31/00: Check-Off Box For Pimp Suits
03/28/00: All the news that fits -- we print!
03/24/00: Net losses all around
03/20/00: To protect, serve --- and be spat on
03/16/00: Thank Heaven for the consigliere
03/13/00: Vast concoctions II
03/09/00: The bluebloods voted against you
03/07/00: The Tower of Babble
03/03/00: Vast concoction
03/02/00: Hillary's sartorial lies
02/28/00: You have to break a few eggs to make a joke
02/22/00: I've seen enough killing to support abortion
02/18/00: A liberal lynching
02/15/00: McCain and the flag
02/11/00: The Shakedown Express
02/08/00: To mock a mockingbird
02/05/00: Summing up Campaign 2000: 'Oh, puh-leeze!'
02/01/00: A Confederacy of Dunces
01/28/00: Dollar Bill's racist smear
01/24/00: How high is your freedom quotient?
01/21/00: Numismadness
01/18/00: How dare you attack my wife!
01/14/00: The Gore Buggernaut
01/10/00: The paradox of discrimination law

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