Jewish World Review Sept. 22, 2004 / 7 Tishrei, 5765

Lloyd Grove

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Consumer Reports

Will 'Details' writer sleep with the fishes?; THE FONZ SPEAKS!; Kerry a cheapskate?; the power of personal pronouns; more


http://www.jewishworldreview.com | Writer Lorenzo Carcaterra may have insulted the wrong family.


In the latest issue of Details, the 49-year-old novelist takes a whack at the three teenage sons of mob princess and reality TV star Victoria Gotti.


"Good thing the Dapper Don isn't around to see how bad his goombah grandsons look on TV," Carcaterra begins his sartorial screed against 18-year-old Carmine, 17-year-old John and 14-year-old Frank Gotti.


"Maybe John (Gotti) would forgive the missing silk ties and Brioni suits, even the missing handmade shoes — they're just kids, right?" Carcaterra continues. "But there's no way he'd sit still over his grandsons in sleeveless tees, ricotta-white Reeboks, and shiny sweats that even Kobe wouldn't be arrested wearing."


On Tuesday, protective mom Victoria Gotti told this column: "For a grown man to pick apart the way three kids dress is ridiculous. I can't fathom the motive there. That would be like me picking apart the way that Britney Spears or the Olsen twins choose to dress."


But the Dandy Don's daughter conceded: "Would my father approve? Probably not, no. We weren't raised that way. Do I like their hairstyle? I hate their hairstyle. But we're not talking about kids walking in with Mohawks that are dyed bright blue. I don't see it as a major offense.


"Show me a parent that can tell a child they can't be themselves."


So can Carcaterra rest easy in the knowledge that there won't be any, um, repercussions?


"You're the only ones I'm addressing this to," Gotti assured this column.

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THE FONZ SPEAKS


When hip-hop fop Farnsworth Bentley changed his name to Fonzworth — an homage to The Fonz of "Happy Days" fame — what did Fonz portrayer Henry Winkler think?


"He didn't clear it with me, but he has my complete sanction," Winkler told this column Tuesday. "I think he shows great taste, not only in his signature, but in his vest. I would say we're brothers in threads."


As for Bentley's former boss Sean Combs, Winkler opined: "P. Diddy is the man. Under all of his fabricated persona he is a really fabulous fellow. He reinvents himself, which is so smart."


The 58-year-old actor was calling in from the set of the Fox comedy "Arrested Development," on which he plays a lawyer, to talk about Boomer Coalition.


It's a cardiovascular disease awareness campaign that auctioned off celebrity-designed jeans (including Winkler's denims featuring a leaping trout) at the SoHo Levi's store last night.


"The fact of the matter is, so many human beings are like ostriches about health — they have their head in the sand. Heart disease is silent and deadly, but preventable. Preventable, preventable, preventable, if we just take the time to look at what's going on inside the chest."


THE BRIEFING


CANDIDATE TIP CHALLENGE: That was Democratic presidential nominee John Kerry leaving a $2.15 gratuity late Monday night on $11.85 worth of fat-free Dutch Chocolate French Vanilla Swirls for himself and a couple of copycat staffers at Tasti D-Lite at 51st and Broadway. That's an 18 percent tip. I guess the penny-wise billionaire-by-marriage really is for lowering the budget deficit.


LEAVE A TENDER MOMENT ALONE: Some money-grubbing miscreant, claiming to be an invited guest at next month's Billy Joel-Kate Lee nuptials, has been offering to sell surreptitious photos of the private ceremony. "I am interested in what pictures from the ceremony might be worth," the entrepreneur emailed. "Please send your last, best and final offer." Joel's spokeswoman, Claire Mercury, declined to comment. But I hear the wedding guest's photos might be worth zilch because of plans to release free pictures of the celebration.


THE POWER OF PERSONAL PRONOUNS: "The Power of We" is the title of mogul Jonathan Tisch's heartwarming new business primer that was celebrated Monday night chez Tina Brown and Harry Evans. "I've been writing my own book," confided the author's brother Steve Tisch, a Hollywood producer. "It's called 'The Power of Me '"



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© 2003, Creators Syndicate